Our move to Wash. DC and the beginning of the 20 year loss of our son

In the summer of 1973 we once again moved, this time to the Wash. D.C. area. Lee's assignment to Walter Reed Army Hospital was considered a plum job. It was considered a gateway to bigger and better assignments and faster promotions. In retrospect, it was also a panacea for a teenage boy who had never been exposed to drugs before. Never before had Lee been assigned to a post near such a large city with so much temptation available.
On our way to our assignment we decided to stop in Oxen Hill, Maryland to meet one of Lee's cousins. Lee had not seen her in many years and I had never met her. Her husband was also a military man assigned to the Pentagon in DC. Lee's cousin had twin boys who were 17 and a daughter the same age as our son. We parked our trailer in their yard and actually stayed put for at least 2 wks. At that time we found a camping space near to the house that we had purchased. It was a lovely experience with Lee's family. They were gracious hosts, and we were so very grateful to have been able to park our trailer there for so long. Plus the added bonus of getting to know another family member.
Buying our first house was a real eye opener for us, and the DC area was known to have much higher prices than other areas. We looked at several houses, some were just plain out of our price range. Remember now, this was 1973 and Lee's salary as a Captain was $14,000 per year, and I did not work away from the house. The house we put a contract on was $41,000.00. We all loved the house. It had a kitchen, living room, 3 bedrooms, and a full bathroom upstairs. It was a split level and downstairs it had a family room, 2 bedrooms, a laundry room, and another full bathroom. Finally, after what seemed an eternity we received the call that the couple had accepted our contract and our loan was approved. We were all elated. Then the day that we went to closing and signed what seemed like reams and reams of papers the reality set in. That night when Lee and I were talking I cried. "How are we ever going to make those payments every month, $398!" Wow!! in retrospect that payment was nothing compared to the house payments we have had since.
The weekend before we moved into the house we had gone camping at a place in southern Maryland called "Solomon's Island." It was run by the US Navy and a great place to spend the weekends. One weekend we caught 500 blue crabs. It was great fun and the kids loved it as well as Lee and I. This particular weekend there happened to be several guys who were also stationed at Walter Reed and their families. It was a fun weekend and the kids were of similar ages and got along well with each other. There was all kinds of play equipment, some which was kind of rough and tumble for our youngest daughter who was 4 years old at the time. After we arrived home from the weekend, I was giving our youngest a bath when I noticed several large bruises on different parts of her body. I thought boy! they must have really been bouncing her around for her to be so bruised.As the days went on, more and more bruising appeared on her body. She seemed to bruise on areas that were stressed with normal everyday living, such as her cheek bones and shoulder blades. Once again I called on my "merck manual" for some assistance. An ominous feeling came over me as I paged through the manual. Since we were new to the area I called The Walter Reed Clinic for some guidance. They gave me an appointment for a month away. I said "my daughter is very sick and she cannot wait a month to be seen.
Lee was working 3-11 evening shift at the time. When he came home I told him what I thought was happening to our daughter and that she had to be seen as quickly as possible. From my reading I deduced that she had leukemia or some serious form of anemia. Lee was never one to ask favors of the doctors, he felt that we should wait our turn like everyone else. So, of course we disagreed about the situation and the discussion became quite heated. I honestly was afraid. Our daughter did not have any other symptoms except maybe lethargy and she was sleeping more than normal for her also. The discussion ended when I told Lee emphatically "You better talk to someone today and get her in the clinic to be seen. If not I will bring her in myself and I will raise hell until she is seen!" Lee literally grabbed a Pediatric resident and explained our daughter's condition. Almost immediately Lee called me, they wanted to examine her as soon as possible. The Colonel who was in charge of the Hematology Clinic saw us right away. He said to us, "Your daughter looks like a classic Leukemia patient." This was my worst fear from what I had been reading. Tears started streaming down my face, and I was terrified at the possibilities ahead. The doctor was very good to our daughter and to us. He invited us to stay right in his office while he made all of the slides himself. Walter Reed is a hospital of serious diagnosis, we were so fortunate and grateful to be there. The clinic in Kansas was not equipped for serious cases. Before the physician started to draw blood and start her evaluation he explained everything to us. There were three possible diagnosis, Leukemia, aplastic anemia or Idiopathic Thrombocytocpenic Purpura. This last diagnosis was the least serious and the reason why she had petechia and purple patches all over her body. The doctor informed us that our four year old daughter needed to have a bone marrow test immediately. Lee went along with our baby and stayed with her during the procedure. It has been well over 30 years now since this all took place and I can still hear our little girl screaming. While she was screaming, I sat there crying and praying that the good Lord would protect her from all harm. We waited and waited for the diagnosis to be made. The doctors were working as fast as they possibly could. It was now early evening, and the wait was almost over.
A situation like this, especially a child or someone very close to us really brings us to our knees quickly. Life is fragile and in an instant it can be snatched away from us. So enjoy your family and friends and savor all of the precious moments and memories.
Carol

Another move is upon us and "Back to school" for Lee

In July of 1972 we reluctantly moved from Fort Devens, Massachusetts. This had been a very comfortable assignment. The kids and I had made a lot of friends and once again is was difficult to say goodbye to them. We were destined for Kansas, a place we knew nothing about. The New England area was home to us and we felt very familiar and comfortable there. And so, we headed to the "Heartland of the U.S.A.", with a stop in between to see our families in New York. It was good to see the family again, although they thought Lee and I were nomads. They would say "when are you guys going to settle down?" My reply was, we have curtains on the windows, we make our home wherever we are. It was close to our son's birthday, so we celebrated his 12th birthday with the family. He was almost 7 when Lee went on active duty and quite attached to his grandpa, (my dad) Therefore, it was more difficult for him to make the adjustment of being away from family for long stretches at a time. Our girls were 3 & 5 years old and were a little easier to settle in to our new home. I must say, Kansas was a far cry from our beloved New England. We went from a place where there was so much to do for families and individuals, to a place where they would have a hard time getting enough players to make up a team. It always seemed easier for Lee. He had his agenda and started school almost immediately at a small Catholic college called Merrymount College. It seems that when you have a task to start right away like that, it is easier to make friends. School was his full time job and so the days go by and he was kept quite busy. I need to explain here also that the military housing we were so excited to have waiting for us, was less than adequate. Not just the house per se, but this particular previous Air Force Base had been converted into what was called housing for "waiting wives." Before we moved out to the base, I thought this was a very nice idea. I had been so lonely while Lee was in Viet Nam, and here all the women were in similar situations. My thinking was that gee, the women would be supportive and nurturing to one another.It really was not like that there, especially since my husband was at home. It did not matter one iota that he had recently returned from Viet Nam. Most of the rest of the women there did not have a man at home and were very sarcastic towards me because I did. Another huge aspect was that many of these women needed a lot of assistance and that was the reason they were moved there by their husbands. While Lee was in school he did some work with Social Services, and some of the stories were very sad. Stories of women left there with hardly any money to live on, especially women from foreign lands who were not familiar with life in the U.S.A. One Oriental lady whose husband sent her an allotment of $200.00 per month to live on. She and her 2 little children were almost starving, and she believed her husband when he told her he did not have more money to send. Needless to say, that man was returned to the US promptly. These situations were not looked on kindly by the Commanding Officers and hindered greatly a man's career. There were woman who had drinking problems and their children were pretty much on auto pilot. Child abuse was rampant as well as many other family problems. After awhile Lee decided to moonlight at a local hospital, St. John's which was run by the Sister's of Concordia. He took a job working in ICU, the pay was $3.23 per hour and he was a CRNA. Now of course we are talking about 1972, but that sure would not have been much to support a family on. Lee enjoyed working there, and of course he was very well liked by the nuns. Life in Kansas was sure different than any other place we have ever lived before or since. Actually, it was the first place we ever lived where we saved money. There really was not much to spend it on. About half way through the year I saw a notice in the newspaper for a CNA course, so I thought, why not give it a try. It was a 6 wk course and I received a certificate at the completion of the course. Now that I was equipped to work in the hospital I wanted to work part time too. So I hustled myself down to St. John's Hospital and was hired on Med. Surg. as a Cna. I worked 2 days a week and really learned a lot, and enjoyed it as well . Little did I know at that time that I would be starting Nursing School in Texas 8 years later. We did take some very nice trips while stationed in Kansas, and we went camping with our travel trailer several times as well. One of the most memorable trips we took was to Grand Teton's National Park and Yellowstone Nat'l Park. Everything you see and read about those places is absolutely true. When you are there, it felt spiritual with a tranquility that I had never experienced before. It brought many thoughts to me, such as the great difficulty the early pioneers must have endured as they traversed those majestic mountains. I felt so very grateful for every sacrifice and every scintilla of blood which they shed for us, as they blazed the trail for future generations. Actually, it is beyond my comprehension to even try to fathom the terrible hardships they experienced. They had tenacity that we can only imagine. We have lost that determination and toughness somewhere over the generations I fear
Lee graduated in May 1973 with his BSN and we prepared for yet another move. This move was happier, in part because we were heading back east, but more importantly because Lee had been assigned to Walter Reed Army Medical Center. This was a huge step forward for Lee's career. Walter Reed was one of "thee" places to get your ticket punched towards faster promotions. Actually, Lee was promoted from the secondary zone while he was stationed there. (that means that it was suggested that he be promoted ahead of his peers on his evaluations) At that time in the military many of the higher officers were woman. This was due to the fact that men had not gravitated towards the nursing profession in the military yet. Lee has always been very well liked as well as being very competent and it wasn't long before he was noticed by the "powers that be."
It is getting late, and as usual I have gotten long winded. Having said that I will bring this chapter of my life to a close. God Bless.
Carol