The Fasching Party

As I have previously stated, we were the only Americans invited to the party. Therefore, we were naturally excited, and anticipating the evenings events. This was all a new experience for Lee and I. We had never been to The Mardi Gras and had no idea what to expect. That evening was the first and ONLY time in over 50 years that I convinced my husband to wear a costume. Since a costume was requested I felt that it would be insulting to our host if we did not oblige. It was a wonderful experience for our girls too. They loved wearing costumes and making new friends. The food and wine were abundant, and our German hosts were very welcoming and cordial. I engaged in a rather heavy conversation with a lovely lady named Brigitta. She was from the northern part of Germany where the people were not as Americanized, and therefore spoke very little English. It was amazing really how the delightful German wines improved my ability to speak German, and Brigitta's English so that we could carry on a meaningful conversation. The year was 1978, it was right around the time when the Mini Series about The Holocaust aired on American television. Surprisingly, Brigitta introduced the topic which rather caught me off guard, I would not have broached this subject because I thought it was taboo. She was concerned that Americans hated the German people because of the Holocaust, and verbalized that Americans probably knew little else about her country's people. I assured her that my generation did not hold the sins of the past against the people of the present. She had tears in her eyes as she talked about the youth of Germany, and how they had voiced their disdain, and accused her generation of "turning a blind eye" on the torture and disappearances of the Jews. I felt privileged then, and have a renewed sense of gratitude now that Brigitta confided her feelings to me. She went on to explain that "Yes, we knew that our neighbors were disappearing, and being taken away, but we kept our eyes straight ahead, fearing for our own lives, and the lives of our family, every day." It was painful to witness how the weight of that terrible event has taken its toll on this lovely lady. She suffers her private "hell" as do many of her generation, and is ashamed of the terrible deeds which occurred under the dictatorship of Hitler.
The celebration was delightful and somewhat mild, according to some of the tales that were revealed that evening. Apparently, the serious revelers take an "anything goes' attitude regarding their behavior, even going so far as taking a paramour. These short lived associations sometimes resulted in a pregnancy, which from all accounts was accepted. Risky behavior facilitated by the ever present libations, which are ubiquitous at these festivities.
I must confess here that this is the one, and only time of my life that I imbibed lets say a "trifle" too much. We drove back to our trailer, we were camping in the Switzerland Alps. It was late February, so quite nippy, but beautiful still and the sky was clear as a bell. The party was to be continued the next day at Lore's sisters home, but not before we all attended the 0900 parade. When I awoke the next morning, I thought I was near death. Actually, I thought death would be the better option as my head was absolutely pounding! Lore' was absolutely incredulous that I was ill. Why? she exclaimed, "the food was gut, the wine was gut?" Yes, it was, but I was a novice in the wine drinking department, and I did indeed learn my lesson from that experience.
The hour is late, so I bid you goodnight.
Carol

We proceed towards our new adventures in Europe, albeit with a heavy heart.

Good evening friends, please forgive me for the extended hiatus. It has not been intentional, but I really think it was writer's block. I was not productive with anything it seems. Hopefully, now with the onset of a new month I will be refreshed and energetic, and more productive.
I must digress for a short discussion about the "friends" who assisted me in Virginia, and subsequently took the girls and I to the "Dulles Airport." We met this couple at William Beaumont Army Hospital in October 1968. Lee was about to start anesthesia school. OJ had been assigned Lee's sponsor which means that he showed us around the area, helped us find a house to rent, and just generally made us feel welcome. All of this wonderful hospitality with a heavy heart as OJ was on his way to Viet Nam. He is a very affable, jovial guy with a HUGE heart. It is obvious that he loves people and only sees the good in them. OJ is the type of guy who would take the shirt off his back in a heart beat if he thought you needed it. His wife is a joyful, loving and giving, Christian woman with a heart of gold, and a deep love of God. Over the years she has helped me to see how God has a plan for all of us. It may not be the plan we want at the time, but ultimately it is the best and most beneficial solution. She also helped me to learn that I must be patient, because God has a different timetable than we do. Patience has never been my long suit. However, eventually when I realized that I was not in control of my own life, let alone someone else's, I had to surrender, and ask for God's help. We have been friends with this couple since 1968, and we truly love each other. Remember, I said that he helped us find a place to live, well, they found reasons for us to stay with them for 10 days after we arrived that Friday afternoon. They are "true friends" in every sense of the word. Our first meal with them consisted of macaroni & cheese in a box, hot dogs and green beans, and it tasted delicious! We still kid each other about that meal and one of these days it may be dinner again.
To really put in perspective how I feel about this couple, I drove from Killeen, Texas to Battle Creek, Michigan in June of 1984. A distance of approximately 1300 miles to offer my support to them in a family crisis. Our then 15 year old daughter accompanied me on the trip. I have never regretted doing it and would do it again without hesitation.
Back on track, we have arrived in Germany and are ready to roll. As soon as Lee received orders for Germany I enrolled at the local Community College and took 2 courses in German. Literally, the day after arriving in Germany I was in downtown Heidelberg, Germany shopping! I wanted to meet the people and talk to them, and I wanted to learn about their customs, and sample their food. I had enough enthusiasm for the entire family. Our youngest daughter was eager to learn the language, perhaps more uninhibited about making mistakes. However our 12 year old was rather reticent, and reserved, and just plain did not want to try. I persevered trying to get her interested, and I found the key. She loved the food, and the rule was, I'll tell you what to ask for, but you must do the asking. One day we were at one of Heidelberg's wonderful Saturday open markets. This was something we all looked forward to, there was fresh made bread, and rolls called "brochen," which were crusty on the outside and "oh" so soft inside. Our oldest daughter asked a German lady for a "gerkin" which is their word for pickle. Well! that lady came right around the counter and hugged our daughter. It was then, that the light dawned on her, that it really meant a lot to the native people when you at least tried to use their language.
Americans were quite easy to pick out of the crowd. Usually, they wore jeans and were sometimes rather boisterous. Therefore, I felt complimented that the German people would begin talking German to me thinking I was a local. I loved the people there and I enjoyed every minute spent living in Germany. Actually, I learned a great deal about life and how to really enjoy your life and family from the German people. They lived a slower life, the merchants all closed their shops for lunch, and a cat nap. This was a real bone of contention with the American population. They would become angry because they had been inconvenienced, and did not appear to honor the German people's customs. The German grocery stores and the bakery and butcher shops all were closed after 1 pm on Saturdays as well. The merchants designated one weekend each month when they stayed open until 6 pm in the evening. The Americans had access to a convenience store on the military post, but they still complained.
Upon arriving in Germany, the girls and I were delighted to hear that within a few days, we would all be going on a trip to Holland. Both maternal and paternal grandparents of Lee were all born in Holland, so the trip had a special meaning. The room we stayed in was on the third floor of a very old hotel with no elevator. It was fine for our use, nothing fancy, but it served our purposes. As I recall it was quite expensive by American Standards though. One of the first places we visited in Holland was "The Keukenhof." This is where the beautiful gardens are rich with all kinds of elegant, but common flowers. Tulips of every color in the rainbow. Gorgeous daffodils which announce the arrival of spring with their bright yellow faces. Brilliant hues of various shades of purple displayed in their beautiful iris. There were fields of all these flowers and more, which when we looked down the fields appeared to be as a lovely carpet on display.
We found the people of Holland to be very congenial, and helpful, with directions and such. There are actually cities in Holland named Edam and Gouda, Cities made famous by those pungent and delicious cheeses. In the center of these towns they hold a cheese auction every week. Delft, which is glazed earthenware is a well known product of Holland, made in the city of Delft. It is usually painted blue and white, this is done by hand and signed by the painter. I was fortunate to buy two pieces of delft, one the traditional blue and white, the other multi-colored. This was 1978 and they were just beginning to use the multi-colors for their figurines. It was a wonderful introduction to Europe for all of us. I still have vivid memories of that fabulous trip. By the time we arrived back in Heidelberg it had been just 10 days since we left the United States. Honestly, I think someone threw the chicken-pox virus on the girls as we strolled through the airport! They were both extremely sick and literally covered with blisters. Our oldest daughter has several obvious chicken-pox scars much to her chagrin.
Lee and I and our girls benefited greatly from a wonderful German school teacher named Lore'. A fellow CRNA who had previously been stationed in Heidelberg was friends with Lore'. He was gracious enough to give her our information, and she sort of adopted us for the next 3 1/2 years. Actually, she is a lifetime friend. Lee and I visited and stayed with her and her new husband Horst when we returned to Germany in 1991. Then a few years later Lore' and Horst came to the United States for an extended visit, and stayed with us for a few days. They had amassed so many American friends over the years that they actually visited several families who lived in different states. Lore' is a typical, no nonsense, confident, self assured German lady, with a heart of gold. An example of her personality, she would invite me for coffee at 3 pm, if I rang the door bell at 2;55, lore' would remind me that the invitation is for 3 pm, not 2:55!! At first I would become a little piqued with her, but soon forgot about it and respected her wishes in the future. Lore" took us to the most wonderful and unusual places in Germany. She rather detested all of the more "well known" American haunts which seemingly every American visited. The "Oktoberfest" (german spelling) Nurnemberg, Munich, were places that most American's visited, and to be sure they are lovely, beautiful places. But Lore' took us to places that we had never heard of before and were equally, if not more lovely. Every spring she took us to a brewery in Mannheim for Bock beer which is traditionally a dark beer brewed in the spring. She introduced us to her private winery which is owned and run by Herr Hartmann and his family. Wineries are generally fairly small there and run by the family. The Hartmann's are a wonderful family, and we purchased many a bottle of wine from them. As a Christmas gift one year Herr Hartmann gave us a wine bottle opener made from a very sturdy grape vine. It has been over 30 years ago that he gave it to us, and we still use it, and each time we use it we are reminded of some lovely memories.
Lore' invited us to her house for a "Fasching" party which is the pre-Lenten period of revelry which is akin to our "Mardi Gras We were the only Americans invited and considered it an honor to be included with her family and friends.
I'll stop here for now and continue tomorrow as I am somewhat fatigued tonight. Thank you for your loyalty. Carol

Our son is discharged from drug rehab program

By the time our son was discharged from the drug rehab program he was almost 18 years old. He had met a young woman in the program and decided that he was not coming back home to live. She was from the Baltimore area, and they decided to get an apartment and live together. I felt optimistic about our son, he said all of the right things. After all that is what I wanted to hear, wasn't it? It was about this same time that Lee received orders for Heidelberg, Germany. We were elated, we had always hoped to go to Germany on assignment. Our son assured us that he would be fine, he had gotten a job, and he really was trying to start a new life.
According to Lee's orders he was to report to the 130th Station Hospital in Heidelberg on December 20th,1977. I wanted Lee to try and have the date postponed until after Christmas, but he was reluctant to do so for fear of the orders being canceled. As it turned out, when Lee arrived at his duty station in Heidelberg as he had been directed, the Operating Room was only doing emergency cases. The staff queried Lee's arrival before Christmas. It was a sore subject with me, therefore we did not discuss it in any detail. He was there now, and the girls and I would be following him just as soon as we sold the house. The house finally was sold in March, YEAH! Admittedly, it is not one of my favorite things to be in the process of selling a house. The house has to be spotless all of the time, and Realtors have no compunction about calling the last minute to show the house.
The day came for the movers to arrive and pack up our household. The way it worked is we actually had 3 different shipments. There was the hold baggage which contained the immediate things we would need. These were things like sheets/pillowcases, pots and pans and other necessities to get along with until the rest of our things arrived. All of the large furniture was put into storage. The rest of our household things arrived in Germany about May. On the morning that the packers were coming I was home alone. Friends had asked me if I needed help, but as always I had graciously declined. Usually, when we moved Lee would be present, but of course he was already in Europe. The packers had arrived bright and early, there were 4 men and me. About 8 a.m. someone knocked on the door, much to my surprise, a friend from church stood there with a pot of coffee and a bag of doughnuts. Sandy also had a mop and a bucket with her as well as her 2 year old daughter, Coleen. She had a big smile on her face and said, "I knew you wouldn't ask for help, so here I am." What a welcome sight she was too. I was so surprised and grateful that I was on the verge of tears. Sandy stayed all day and helped me clean, sort things for the church, and just give me moral support, a true friend. We were just about finished, the packers had left and I was just doing some last minute cleaning. I was down on my hands and knees washing the base boards when I felt this sharp object hit my hand. I stood up to examine my hand, but could not detect any wound. Sandy bent over and picked up a sewing needle, or I should say a half a needle. She said "you have the other half of this needle in your hand. I dreaded going to a medical facility, it was about 4 p.m. on a Friday afternoon. Any of the facilities would be busy, but I had to have my hand looked at. Sandy took me to Fort Meade in Maryland. A corpsman looked at the wound and ordered an x-ray. Sure enough there was the other half of the sewing needle sitting between my middle finger and my ring finger. My hand was swelling quickly and I struggled to get my wedding band off. We had been married 18 years and I had never taken my wedding ring off before. The corpsman told me that there was not a surgeon in the hospital. He had spoken with the surgeon who stated that "the patient should return on Monday for removal of the needle." I was scheduled to fly to Germany on Monday evening. I simply told the corpsman, "I am flying to Germany on Monday evening with or without this needle." A few minutes later I was discharged and left the hospital with an antibiotic and some pills for pain. At this point it was approximately 7 p.m. The girls and I said our fond adieus to Sandy, and we headed to Virginia where we were staying with friends. Our friends are both medical professionals, he is a CRNA also the same as Lee. He called a friend who is a surgeon and they smuggled me into the hospital. I did not have insurance for a civilian hospital, and I am eternally grateful to both of them for coming to my aid. It took the physician almost an hour to locate the needle, and remove it. When I left the hospital my hand was wrapped up like a prize fighter and still very numb from the lidocaine anesthetic. In the middle of the night however, I awoke with a throbbing pain in my hand. No matter, I was still happy because in 2 days the girls and I would be winging our way to Germany, to be reunited with Lee.
My bandaged left hand was somewhat beneficial in the airplane and especially in the airport. Our baggage consisted of 7 bags which included a trunk. It would have been really cumbersome for me without the assistance of several generous fellas who helped me. Lee was there waiting for us with open arms, and it felt good to be together again. When we arrived at our apartment Lee had prepared a lovely dinner, complete with homemade brownies. We were all very exhausted and it was about mid-day when we arrived in Germany. We were on European time now and my adrenaline was running high which enabled me to get through the day. The girls and I had some jet lag for a couple days, but we survived and a new adventure was about to begin.
Until next time, be good to one another.
Carol

continuation of the trials of our son

Our daughter's were ages 6 years and 9 years old at the time our son's problems started. They loved their "big brother" and could not understand the change in his behavior. He had become distant and irritable, and did not want to bother with his sisters anymore. He refused to keep his curfew, and basically told us that he would come home when he felt like it. We grounded him, then he started leaving the house by going out of the window. I sat up until all hours of the night waiting for him to come home. Many years later, the girls expressed anger towards me. They felt they did not get "their needs" met because I spent so much time trying to "fix" our son. It was years later before I learned that when one member of the family is ill, it effects the entire family, and is very disruptive. It makes perfect sense to me now, the family is out of balance. Unfortunately, I was not so introspective, or knowledgeable at the time.


Lee and I tried everything to turn our son around, to no avail. He didn't care about what we wanted, or what anyone else wanted, except for his so so called "friends." I would stay up until midnight or later trying to talk to him and explain why we were so concerned about him, and why he had rules to live by. I might have just as well talked to the walls, but I was desperate and I wanted my son back. I felt driven to do something, anything, to help our son to come back to the family. I must be honest here and say that Lee and I were not on the same wave length with our son. Lee insinuated that I was making the problems bigger than they actually were. I felt alone, I felt like I was the cause of our son's behavior problems. After all, my family of origin was certainly dysfunctional with a long line of addicted personalities. Years later while Lee and I were participating in a Marriage Encounter weekend, we talked, and talked, about many things we had never discussed before. It was very emotional for Lee as we recounted that chapter of our life and how painful it was for all of us. A sentinel event occurred one morning shortly after our son had left for school. The school nurse called to say that he had admitted to ingesting 5 Valium pills earlier that morning. The valium tablets were 5 mg. each for a total of 25 mg. The normal dosage is usually 5 mg., therefore you can imagine that he was quite medicated, and stuporous. Luckily, he was 6 ft. tall and weighed about 140, or the results could have been even more disasterous. I picked him up at the school and I had to stimulate him constantly to keep him awake. I called Lee home from the hospital immediately. He was very angry with our son, but did not suggest that we take him to the hospital. We could take care of it ourselves, all we had to do was to keep stimulating him until the Valium wore off. I insisted that we take him to the hospital, and when I make up my mind, I am like a "dog with a bone."Lee complied with my wishes, however he was not in agreement with them and we took our son to Walter Reed Medical Center Emergency Room, where they quickly shunted him to Pediatrics. He was 15 years old at the time. The physician spoke with us, he had already examined and talked with our son. He did not really see any reason for further treatment, because he felt that our son had just experimented this one time. I am compelled to tell you here that our son was a master of deception, and he had "hoodwinked" yet another professional. I was not going to be disuaded and made my wishes known. Both our son and Lee were not happy with me, but as a result of this conversation, we scheduled an appointment with Family Therapy. At first we were scheduled for therapy 3 times per week. One appointment for all 3 of us, another appointment for our son alone, and the third appointment for Lee and I alone. I was the only person who really participated in those therapy sessions. I was very open and honest, but it was like "swimming up stream" for me. Lee had very little to say in therapy, and it seemed to become the focus of the Psychiatrist to prod, poke and ignite Lee's anger, in order to elicit some type of feedback from him. It did not work, and Lee really resented the Psychiatrist's tactics. Once again I felt so alone and unsupported. There were times when I felt like I would lose my mind. There were days when I felt like my family would be much better off without me. I started to drink to medicate myself and ease the pain. These were all my unspoken thoughts at the time. I really did not have a confident who I could talk with. After approximately one year our Psychiatrist proclaimed that our son was just a "normal" teenager. I was shocked, dismayed, and disappointed. It was appalling to me that I seemed to be the only person who gave witness to the devious and delinquent behaviors that our son exhibited. When he was a sophomore in high school we were asked to remove him from school OR the school would expel him. Being expelled would be worse for his records they said, so we complied with the administration and removed him. He obtained his GED at a later time, this for a young man who wanted to attend Annapolis at one time. Our son was a very intelligent young man, he had so many aspirations and plans for his future. He was an honor student, and tutored other students who needed assistance. The reason for removing him the school told us was because he was always "high" or "stoned." This was heart breaking for me, I could not believe the way our son had changed. It was like I didn't even know him anymore. Many, many tears were shed over the years as I continued to try and get him to turn his life around. He said he was perfectly happy with his life the way it was, he was fine, it was my problem, he did not have a problem. Lee was still on active duty in the Army, and many times after a big quarrel we would have to make an appearance at a reception, or party. Those events were absolutely joy less for me, but I could plaster a smile on my face for a short time. None of our friends realized what was happening in our household, we were all such good actors in our family. My early life as a child in a dysfunctional family had prepared me well to keep secrets. Around 1976 Lee received orders for Germany which were quickly rescinded after he explained our situation to his commander. It was very disappointing as we had always hoped that we would be able to travel to Europe. It would have been impossible to even consider such a move at this time. Our son was only 16 years old and still heavily involved with drugs. We insisted that he do things with the family, even if it was just going out to dinner. It was not pleasant for any of us though, because he would rush through his dinner and then sit there and pout until we finished, and left the restaurant. He just became more and more distant and disengaged from us, and with life in general. About that time we found out that our biggest nightmare was true, our son was using Heroin. One Saturday morning, I found our son laying on our front porch, it was quite cold outdoors, and he was sleeping on the cold cement. Thank God Lee was at home, it took both of us to get him in the house related to his drugged condition. We stayed with him the entire day, making sure that he was responsive, and of course, the likelihood of him vomiting and aspirating into his lungs was high, so that was another reason for us to be vigilant. I don't remember much conversation between Lee and I that day. Our relationship then and now was worlds apart. We were definitely not in agreement as to the path of treatment we should seek for our son. I think I was still the only one who felt that we needed to do something, and do it quickly.



Keep in mind that we all still attended therapy sessions twice a week. At this time it was suggested that our son be admitted to an inpatient treatment facility. He was in the program for several months, however he really did not participate. He was not interested in rehabilitation, he did not have a problem. It was us, Lee and I, who had the problem. In reality, Lee, myself, and our son were each on our separate little islands. Lee was in denial in a major way. He told me at the time that I was always looking for things to find fault with our son. At that time, I felt so alone and unsupported. This was a very dark time in our marriage. Lee and I began to argue frequently when he was at home. He worked 2 jobs, and at that time I stayed home and took care of the children and household responsibilities. I was usually always alone when something bad happened with our son. Therefore, I was left to my own devices to try and handle the problem As I sit here and try to recall the events of that dark period of our lives, it seems like it all happened in another life, another time so long ago

"our move to Wash. D.C. and the beginning of the 20 year loss of our son"

I have delayed long enough to attempt to continue this trying period of our lives.
Our son was an excellent student, albeit difficult for him each time we moved to a different assignment. He was entering puberty and consequently was experiencing many changes, emotionally and physically. He was 6 ft. tall which was taller than most of his friends at that time. However, his emotions had not caught up with his height. At the age of 14 he started to leave the house at night to meet up with his friends who did not have a curfew. Lee and I were not aware of this however for quite a while. Actually, Remembering back, I think it was several months before we found out. The layout of the house was a split level, so that our son had his bedroom downstairs and the girls and Lee and I were on the second level. There was a door downstairs which made his exits very smooth without us hearing him leave. One night Lee went down to talk to our son about 10 PM, it was a school night so he should have been in his room. However, he was not in his room and we were incredulous. We started to check with the neighbors and after only a few minutes we found him. He was at one of the neighbors who had 2 teenage girls a few years older than our son. This particular house appeared to be a meeting place for several teenagers who were not really concerned with school, but rather they were engaged in other activities. One of these activities was smoking pot and staying up until all hours of the night. Up to this point we had never had any serious problems with our son. His grades however had started to slide and we were concerned about it and tried to talk to him about it. At that time he had also been tutoring other students, but his interest started to decline. He became distant and was no longer interested in family activities. He refused to keep his curfew and would tell me "I will not be here, so don't bother waiting for me." At this time it seemed like I was always alone to handle these problems. Lee worked a second job and therefore was absent a lot when significant events happened. I tried to talk to Lee about our son's problems, but he was in denial. He would tell me "you are always looking for something." It was around this time that a family member visited us and knew that our son was leaving the house at night. However, she chose not to inform us for reasons of her own. It was actually several years after these events before she informed us of her knowledge of his leaving the house and staying out all hours of the night. This was and remains for me a very painful disclosure. For me, there would have been no doubt that I would inform the parents of any inappropriate or harmful behavior. In fact, I have done that very thing on several different occasions to protect the child's welfare.
It was in the spring of 1975 the school called to say that our son had ingested 25 mg of Valium and was quite incapacitated. I immediately went to the school to bring our son home, and subsequently to the hospital. He had obtained the Valium from our medicine cabinet at home. Lee was at work when I called him and met me at the hospital. The physician who saw our son thought that it was an isolated incident and we should not worry about it. However, I persisted verbalizing my concern because I felt that we should be engaged in some sort of therapy with our son. The therapy was helpful to me. Lee and our son went through the motions to please me, I am assuming. Our son simply pulled the wool over the psychiatrists eyes. Actually, the psychiatrist told us that our son was just a normal teenager, and he would out grow this behavior. A few weeks later, after receiving phone calls all hours of the night, and unsavory characters coming to our home, it was evident that our son was selling drugs. I called the psychiatrist and asked him "is this what you consider normal teen age behavior?" He admitted that he had been "hood-winked!" Lee and I were devastated and did not know where to turn for help. We did continue with therapy for another year, but it really was not helpful. In order for therapy to help the participants have to want to be there. Lee and our son did not want to be there, they were only there physically. Remember, that this was 1975, and therapy was not something that most people wanted to participate in. You definitely did not want this information written on paper in your personal file.
I have struggled with recalling this time period of my life and the events which occurred. A curtain of sadness has been drawn over me as I relive this period of my life. It is actually much more difficult than I expected it to be. I will fill in the rest of the blanks soon , I promise.

"A day in the life"

To all my blog readers,
Today was a really wonderful day for me, not because anything special happened, it is just the way I feel inside. It is a feeling which is difficult to describe, a feeling that all is right with the world. It is also an emotional time for me as well, I may become weepy just watching my grandchildren play, or when they say something which really touches my heart. Everything is a wonder to me now. Recently. our daughter told us she felt the baby move for the first time that day, it was very special that she shared that with us, and also very emotional for both Lee and I. It seems like just a short time ago our children were young and Lee and I were struggling to make ends meet. Now we have lived over three quarters of our lives, and starting to have some health issues. The years have passed by like a sudden windstorm and our lives have been fast forwarded. Where have the years gone? When we are young, we yearn to be older, then all of a sudden we are older and cannot understand how it happened. Seemingly in the blink of an eye, the years move swiftly by, unnoticed. One would think that this is rich and valuable information for our young people today. However, many will make the same mistakes that their parents and grand parents made. They all rush, rush, rush to make a living, instead of just living!! Enjoy one another, savor each day, look around and appreciate the beauty of this country we live in, the freedom we enjoy, and thank God for every single day of your life.
Sometimes, I question my life, "Why have I been given so much? Why am I filled with happiness and gratitude? Part of the answer is that I love and accept myself now. I have forgiven myself for all of the mistakes I have made in my life. This need to be perfect that many of us seem to strive for. Women especially, seem to think that they have to be the be all end all to everyone they interact with, "super moms", super wives" Why? We are human beings with human frailties and consequently we do error at times. I have beaten myself up because I think I could have been a better mother. In retrospect I would have done things differently. Hindsight is a great thing. My role models growing up did not practice methods which I agreed with, corporeal punishment, guilty as charged. Looking back I was 19 years old when I had our first child, with no real tools to help me. The one thing I did have was Love and that is where I began.
Now Lee and I are on the last leg of our trip through the beautiful Northwest. It was Lee's idea that we travel up north for cooler climate to try to improve my health. I have a Chronic Neurological Disease which is worse in the high temperatures of Arizona. It was not something that I had even considered or thought about. My husband is a very unselfish man. It is one of the many reasons why I love him so much. As far as he is concerned "it is no big deal" The man has driven close to 6000 miles so far. If I look at the map and say "gee that looks like a beautiful place" or "lets see what is on the other side of this island" Lee points our vehicle in that direction. It has been a magical trip in many ways. We could do whatever we wanted when we wanted. It has been good for me in the north country, I do feel better and seem to have a little more energy.
Lee and I have been married for 50 years, but age is a relative thing. Yes, of course chronologically we are old enough to be married 50 years, but we don't think at that level yet. This trip in actuality is our umpteenth "honeymoon." Sometimes we act like kids again. After all it is just the two of us, nobody else witnesses how "goofy" we can be together. At our age the inhibitions gotta go too. I mean come on "whats to hide at this age." Both of us are still kind of "touchy feely kind of people. Just with each other, and/ or the kids and grandshildren. Who doesn't like to be touched? Did you know that they hire woman for the Neonatal ICU for the sole purpose of holding and stimulating the premature infants? Studies have shown that the infants will not thrive and grow if they do not receive tactile stimulation?
Lee and I still hold hands which would be a difficult habit to break, since we started it in 1958. Some people consider this a corny and high school type behavior thing to do. It works for us. I have to say though that it never ceases to amaze me how some couples still have so many walls up. I was having lunch with a friend one day and I had asked her how her husband was doing? At that time they had been married over 30 years. She told me that she was very unhappy with their sex life. I said have you told Bill how you feel? She almost choked on her sandwich. She said "I can't tell him that." Well, you are telling me, I countered! Talk to each other. PLEASE!!
When I was getting the RV ready to leave I selected about 25 musical CDS to play on our journey. We have played one CD so far, and that one not to completion. The reason for that is that we talk. We talk about our kids, our grandchildren, what we want to do when we get back home, future trips we may be thinking about. AND, we laugh. We can laugh at the most simple things and sometimes just get so silly that we cannot stop laughing!I can honestly say that we love being together and enjoy each others company. One of the main reason's for this is that we are still "in love" with each other. We still do things for each other that for many couples fall by the wayside after their marriage vows. Lee still opens the car door for me and opens store doors, and thinks nothing of it. We both wait on each other at home. If Lee cooks the meal, I cleanup, and vice verse. Probably, the caregiver in each of us helps, because we do "take care" of each other. I know instinctively if something is going on with Lee, and he with me. A day never passes that we don't tell each other "I love You!" Actually, many times every day this is spoken. It also does not hurt that "I am still the "clown," and I am still very "spontaneous!" If I feel like giving him a kiss I do it, he has NEVER pulled away. In fact he loves it! Believe me, I do not profess to know everything about marriage. However, I can share what has worked for us, and believe me over the years many people have asked me how they can achieve what Lee and I share. Many couples hunger for a good marriage and are searching for answers. This is my belief, and this is what I see.
I feel so blessed to have had so many wonderful experiences in my life. The military was difficult at times, but it provided us with so-o many beautiful places to visit. Our family lived in Germany for 4 years and visited so-o many countries, and enjoyed the customs and culture of each place we visited. Many special people have been in my life, people who believed in me and helped me to believe in myself. These people helped me immensely, some are gone now, but I will always treasure them.
I have found peace in my life, a peace I have searched for most of my life. It doesn't take much to make me happy now. Years ago I had a lot of anger and a very short fuse. With the assistance of a very learned and erudite psychologist in Maine I have worked through all of that "stuff." She has assisted me in maneuvering through the very dark chasms of my life. There were incidents in my life that I had never discussed with anyone, not even Lee, and I tell him everything. I feel very fortunate indeed to have found such an experienced individual to work with. We just seemed to click and I trust her implicitly. Believe me I did not trust many people at that time. I have a incredible life partner who has made me happier than I ever thought possible. We have 3 wonderful children whom we love and who love us. AND we have 4 beautiful grandchildren and anxiously awaiting a new one in January. I live for my family and love being involved with the grand kids and their projects. I want our grandchildren to know that they are loved and that they are very important to us. Sometimes I think we lose sight of what is important in life. Believe me it is not "accumulating things!" Our grandchildren have helped me to keep reassessing what is important and necessary in my life. When I look into the eyes of our 6 year old granddaughter I see a wonderful little girl who is happy and carefree, and who loves her family and extended family. She loves it when her cousins all get together at our house and has told me many times, "I love my family." Usually, I try to have some activities planned for the kids when they all come to the house. One of the things they absolutely love is making their own pizza. We have several different kinds of veggies, cheeses and pepperoni and they can just go at it any way they wish. Sometimes after every one has left except my daughter and her 2 little ones, I'll ask Olivia who is 6 , "what did you enjoy the most?" She will think and think, and then reply "I loved everything the best. "Children know what is important to them. They love it when Lee and I do anything with them. Sometimes we take them to Home Depot or Lowe's to get flowers and then we let them plant the flowers themselves. It is fun for us just to watch how enthusiastic they are. Sometimes I will get down on the floor with them, or play "hide and seek"." I can become very uninhibited with the "grand-kids." I sing and dance with them and even crawl through those "maze" like apparatus they have. As you can tell I am crazy about my grandchildren. They are a "gift" from God. Being a grandmother is a privilege. One that I take very seriously. They have changed my life in so many ways and I am eternally grateful to them. Now I know what is important in my life. We have a 2 yr. old grandson Ben who I call my "Velcro" child. Before we went away on our trip he called me "meemaw," when we returned he now calls me "g-maw." We are making progress folks!!
My wish for all of you is that you will find peace and happiness in your life. Pick your arguments, and try to find the good in people. For those of you who are married and somewhat disenchanted with your marriage. Remember what it was that initially attracted you to your husband or partner. Sometimes, the very attribute that you loved about your guy will be the exact same habit that "drives you crazy" now. Talk about it, tell your husband how you feel and what you like and do not like. It sounds tough, but believe me it is not. Just start talking . Make sure you have some quiet time without children and just devote it to each other. Rekindle those feelings and put romance in your life. Just because you are married doesn't mean that you can't have romance in your marriage. It is fun and essential to a good relationship.
Watch for my new blog.
Carol

Continuation of our move to The Wash. DC

Our move to Wash. DC and the beginning of the 20 year loss of our son

In the summer of 1973 we once again moved, this time to the Wash. D.C. area. Lee's assignment to Walter Reed Army Hospital was considered a plum job. It was considered a gateway to bigger and better assignments and faster promotions. In retrospect, it was also a panacea for a teenage boy who had never been exposed to drugs before. Never before had Lee been assigned to a post near such a large city with so much temptation available.
On our way to our assignment we decided to stop in Oxen Hill, Maryland to meet one of Lee's cousins. Lee had not seen her in many years and I had never met her. Her husband was also a military man assigned to the Pentagon in DC. Lee's cousin had twin boys who were 17 and a daughter the same age as our son. We parked our trailer in their yard and actually stayed put for at least 2 wks. At that time we found a camping space near to the house that we had purchased. It was a lovely experience with Lee's family. They were gracious hosts, and we were so very grateful to have been able to park our trailer there for so long. Plus the added bonus of getting to know another family member.
Buying our first house was a real eye opener for us, and the DC area was known to have much higher prices than other areas. We looked at several houses, some were just plain out of our price range. Remember now, this was 1973 and Lee's salary as a Captain was $14,000 per year, and I did not work away from the house. The house we put a contract on was $41,000.00. We all loved the house. It had a kitchen, living room, 3 bedrooms, and a full bathroom upstairs. It was a split level and downstairs it had a family room, 2 bedrooms, a laundry room, and another full bathroom. Finally, after what seemed an eternity we received the call that the couple had accepted our contract and our loan was approved. We were all elated. Then the day that we went to closing and signed what seemed like reams and reams of papers the reality set in. That night when Lee and I were talking I cried. "How are we ever going to make those payments every month, $398!" Wow!! in retrospect that payment was nothing compared to the house payments we have had since.
The weekend before we moved into the house we had gone camping at a place in southern Maryland called "Solomon's Island." It was run by the US Navy and a great place to spend the weekends. One weekend we caught 500 blue crabs. It was great fun and the kids loved it as well as Lee and I. This particular weekend there happened to be several guys who were also stationed at Walter Reed and their families. It was a fun weekend and the kids were of similar ages and got along well with each other. There was all kinds of play equipment, some which was kind of rough and tumble for our youngest daughter who was 4 years old at the time. After we arrived home from the weekend, I was giving our youngest a bath when I noticed several large bruises on different parts of her body. I thought boy! they must have really been bouncing her around for her to be so bruised.As the days went on, more and more bruising appeared on her body. She seemed to bruise on areas that were stressed with normal everyday living, such as her cheek bones and shoulder blades. Once again I called on my "merck manual" for some assistance. An ominous feeling came over me as I paged through the manual. Since we were new to the area I called The Walter Reed Clinic for some guidance. They gave me an appointment for a month away. I said "my daughter is very sick and she cannot wait a month to be seen.
Lee was working 3-11 evening shift at the time. When he came home I told him what I thought was happening to our daughter and that she had to be seen as quickly as possible. From my reading I deduced that she had leukemia or some serious form of anemia. Lee was never one to ask favors of the doctors, he felt that we should wait our turn like everyone else. So, of course we disagreed about the situation and the discussion became quite heated. I honestly was afraid. Our daughter did not have any other symptoms except maybe lethargy and she was sleeping more than normal for her also. The discussion ended when I told Lee emphatically "You better talk to someone today and get her in the clinic to be seen. If not I will bring her in myself and I will raise hell until she is seen!" Lee literally grabbed a Pediatric resident and explained our daughter's condition. Almost immediately Lee called me, they wanted to examine her as soon as possible. The Colonel who was in charge of the Hematology Clinic saw us right away. He said to us, "Your daughter looks like a classic Leukemia patient." This was my worst fear from what I had been reading. Tears started streaming down my face, and I was terrified at the possibilities ahead. The doctor was very good to our daughter and to us. He invited us to stay right in his office while he made all of the slides himself. Walter Reed is a hospital of serious diagnosis, we were so fortunate and grateful to be there. The clinic in Kansas was not equipped for serious cases. Before the physician started to draw blood and start her evaluation he explained everything to us. There were three possible diagnosis, Leukemia, aplastic anemia or Idiopathic Thrombocytocpenic Purpura. This last diagnosis was the least serious and the reason why she had petechia and purple patches all over her body. The doctor informed us that our four year old daughter needed to have a bone marrow test immediately. Lee went along with our baby and stayed with her during the procedure. It has been well over 30 years now since this all took place and I can still hear our little girl screaming. While she was screaming, I sat there crying and praying that the good Lord would protect her from all harm. We waited and waited for the diagnosis to be made. The doctors were working as fast as they possibly could. It was now early evening, and the wait was almost over.
A situation like this, especially a child or someone very close to us really brings us to our knees quickly. Life is fragile and in an instant it can be snatched away from us. So enjoy your family and friends and savor all of the precious moments and memories.
Carol

Another move is upon us and "Back to school" for Lee

In July of 1972 we reluctantly moved from Fort Devens, Massachusetts. This had been a very comfortable assignment. The kids and I had made a lot of friends and once again is was difficult to say goodbye to them. We were destined for Kansas, a place we knew nothing about. The New England area was home to us and we felt very familiar and comfortable there. And so, we headed to the "Heartland of the U.S.A.", with a stop in between to see our families in New York. It was good to see the family again, although they thought Lee and I were nomads. They would say "when are you guys going to settle down?" My reply was, we have curtains on the windows, we make our home wherever we are. It was close to our son's birthday, so we celebrated his 12th birthday with the family. He was almost 7 when Lee went on active duty and quite attached to his grandpa, (my dad) Therefore, it was more difficult for him to make the adjustment of being away from family for long stretches at a time. Our girls were 3 & 5 years old and were a little easier to settle in to our new home. I must say, Kansas was a far cry from our beloved New England. We went from a place where there was so much to do for families and individuals, to a place where they would have a hard time getting enough players to make up a team. It always seemed easier for Lee. He had his agenda and started school almost immediately at a small Catholic college called Merrymount College. It seems that when you have a task to start right away like that, it is easier to make friends. School was his full time job and so the days go by and he was kept quite busy. I need to explain here also that the military housing we were so excited to have waiting for us, was less than adequate. Not just the house per se, but this particular previous Air Force Base had been converted into what was called housing for "waiting wives." Before we moved out to the base, I thought this was a very nice idea. I had been so lonely while Lee was in Viet Nam, and here all the women were in similar situations. My thinking was that gee, the women would be supportive and nurturing to one another.It really was not like that there, especially since my husband was at home. It did not matter one iota that he had recently returned from Viet Nam. Most of the rest of the women there did not have a man at home and were very sarcastic towards me because I did. Another huge aspect was that many of these women needed a lot of assistance and that was the reason they were moved there by their husbands. While Lee was in school he did some work with Social Services, and some of the stories were very sad. Stories of women left there with hardly any money to live on, especially women from foreign lands who were not familiar with life in the U.S.A. One Oriental lady whose husband sent her an allotment of $200.00 per month to live on. She and her 2 little children were almost starving, and she believed her husband when he told her he did not have more money to send. Needless to say, that man was returned to the US promptly. These situations were not looked on kindly by the Commanding Officers and hindered greatly a man's career. There were woman who had drinking problems and their children were pretty much on auto pilot. Child abuse was rampant as well as many other family problems. After awhile Lee decided to moonlight at a local hospital, St. John's which was run by the Sister's of Concordia. He took a job working in ICU, the pay was $3.23 per hour and he was a CRNA. Now of course we are talking about 1972, but that sure would not have been much to support a family on. Lee enjoyed working there, and of course he was very well liked by the nuns. Life in Kansas was sure different than any other place we have ever lived before or since. Actually, it was the first place we ever lived where we saved money. There really was not much to spend it on. About half way through the year I saw a notice in the newspaper for a CNA course, so I thought, why not give it a try. It was a 6 wk course and I received a certificate at the completion of the course. Now that I was equipped to work in the hospital I wanted to work part time too. So I hustled myself down to St. John's Hospital and was hired on Med. Surg. as a Cna. I worked 2 days a week and really learned a lot, and enjoyed it as well . Little did I know at that time that I would be starting Nursing School in Texas 8 years later. We did take some very nice trips while stationed in Kansas, and we went camping with our travel trailer several times as well. One of the most memorable trips we took was to Grand Teton's National Park and Yellowstone Nat'l Park. Everything you see and read about those places is absolutely true. When you are there, it felt spiritual with a tranquility that I had never experienced before. It brought many thoughts to me, such as the great difficulty the early pioneers must have endured as they traversed those majestic mountains. I felt so very grateful for every sacrifice and every scintilla of blood which they shed for us, as they blazed the trail for future generations. Actually, it is beyond my comprehension to even try to fathom the terrible hardships they experienced. They had tenacity that we can only imagine. We have lost that determination and toughness somewhere over the generations I fear
Lee graduated in May 1973 with his BSN and we prepared for yet another move. This move was happier, in part because we were heading back east, but more importantly because Lee had been assigned to Walter Reed Army Medical Center. This was a huge step forward for Lee's career. Walter Reed was one of "thee" places to get your ticket punched towards faster promotions. Actually, Lee was promoted from the secondary zone while he was stationed there. (that means that it was suggested that he be promoted ahead of his peers on his evaluations) At that time in the military many of the higher officers were woman. This was due to the fact that men had not gravitated towards the nursing profession in the military yet. Lee has always been very well liked as well as being very competent and it wasn't long before he was noticed by the "powers that be."
It is getting late, and as usual I have gotten long winded. Having said that I will bring this chapter of my life to a close. God Bless.
Carol

Life after Viet Nam and a new assignment

when Lee was in Viet Nam he talked a lot about going camping again. We had a truck camper that we sold before he left. I was trying to like camping, but with a 2 y/o and a 4 y/o I was not real enthusiastic. It was one of those things that I thought I should get to enjoy as Lee always compromised for me, and I do feel strongly that it is a 2 way street. This is one of the gripes that some young couples complain about. "Everything we do is with his family or with his friends." Well, of course that gets monotonous and one-sided. If there are other problems in the marriage it just adds fodder to the list of complaints.
To continue the "camping conversation," I was so happy and grateful to have Lee back home that I was game for whatever he wanted to do. He wanted to buy a travel trailer, but did not think we could afford a new purchase. Therefore, I was very happy and proud to show him the bank book. I had managed to save about $3000.00. Lee was practically speechless, I didn't previously have a great track record for saving money. Almost immediately after that conversation we went down to the RV Dealers. We purchased a 17 ft. travel trailer and we were happy as clams. The kids were all excited because we planned to travel to our new assignment in it. The trailer proved to be a wonderful way to travel with children. They could each bring some of their favorite toys, etc to hopefully make the transition to a new place easier and less traumatic. Lee and I decided that it would be advantageous if we all took a trip to Ft Devens to sign up for on post housing. It would give us a little jump ahead on the list. This was before we had the trailer, but regardless of that, we decided that we would all go on this little fact finding trip. We stayed at a very nice motel, the kids loved it as it was a rarity for us to do this. In the middle of the night our 4 yr. old daughter woke me. She was crying and definitely in pain. Luckily, we were all set to return to New York anyway because we had accomplished what we were there for. Naturally, we did not waste any time getting an early start back as she needed medical attention. On arriving back home we went directly to the hospital. As we had both suspected our daughter had a very serious bladder infection. Apparently, she was born with some type of obstruction which prevented her from urinating normally. The nurse came out to tell us that they would have to catheterize our little girl. This really upset me because I knew it would be painful, and moreover, if she has an obstruction HOW would they be able to accomplish this. Lee and I were sitting outside of the office and we could hear our daughter screaming while they "tried" to catheterize her. Thankfully, the urologist had been called and he came out to talk to us. We were aware of a problem, as potty training was quite prolonged compared to our other child, but I never suspected any thing so serious. The doctor said that it was an absolute necessity that our daughter have surgery to correct this anomaly. Wow, this was not something we had planned on happening, and truthfully I was frightened. She was such a tiny little thing, and of course, parents were not allowed to accompany the child. They scheduled the surgery for the next day bright and early. The surgery was successful and all went well, thank God. It was hospital policy that mothers stayed with the child the entire time the child was hospitalized. She was in hospital 3 nights and on the fourth day she was discharged. She, as well as I, was delighted to get back home to her family. It is really true, "there is no place like home." We still had some time to relax a little before having to prepare for the moving truck to pull up in front of our house. Actually, this particular move was so smooth and trouble free, it was a joy. The reason for the incident free move is that we knew the house which we would be occupying. So our furniture did not have to be unloaded into storage as in previous moves. That extra unloading and reloading is where the damage occurs and things get lost, so we were very grateful and pleased.
It was now almost the end of July and Lee had to report to duty. It was a rather small hospital, and fairly quiet, compared to the large evacuation hospital where Lee had been assigned in Viet Nam. Lee welcomed the change of pace, the days were shorter and the work load was less than he had been accustomed to. There was another fella anesthetist who also had just returned from Viet Nam. Lou was a great guy and he and Lee hit it off immediately. Lee's boss Barbara (Lt Col) was a wonderful and caring woman. Every day she tried to get "the boys," as she referred to them home as early as possible to try and make up for lost time with their families. So, we were altogether again and Viet Nam became a distant memory. Lee still owed the Army 1 year to pay for anesthesia school, so we were not making any plans for Lee to leave the service at that time. It was wonderful to be a family again, I literally dove into so many activities. I volunteered for the "thrift shop", I volunteered to teach religious education, AND I volunteered Lee to teach it as well. (he was only a little annoyed) I belonged to a bowling league which I loved. Actually, our team was in first place, and all of the girls were great fun and very welcoming. Our oldest daughter attended nursery school as she needed to socialize a bit more,and she really enjoyed it as well. She also took ballet classes which she enjoyed and looked so darling in her tutu. Our our son was in 6th grade. He was experiencing quite a growth spurt at the time and was beginning those "trying" teenage years. He played flag football that year as well as hockey which he loved. He was a natural born athlete, but he was not a good loser which did cause a problem at times. Our youngest daughter stayed home with me, she was 2 yr old at the time. It gave us some "special" time together which we did not have when all 3 kids were home at the same time. Fort Devens was my favorite duty station, our life seemed so comfortable and enjoyable there.We all had fun and made a lot of friends, and the kids were doing well. Christmas was approaching and I had volunteered Lee and our son to sell Christmas trees for the youth club. They were ok with it, a friend of Lee's was also selling trees compliments of his wife also. They all seemed to enjoy the whole X-mas tree event. Then about half way through that year Lee came home and said that we would probably be reassigned in the summer. One year after we arrived there we would be leaving. I must admit that I was bitter and angry, I tried to put up a good front for the kids, but it was difficult. I knew that this was a good career move for Lee. He had been advised to go back to school for his BSN. So, in the summer of 1972 we were headed for Salina, Kansas, not exactly the "garden spot" of my dreams, but it was a reality.
I'll try to blog more frequently in the future. Our 5 year old granddaughter spent an entire week with us last week. It was marvelous. We baked cookies, went swimming every day, went to the "Children's Museum", read stories each night at bedtime, had a movie night, went for walks. I cannot explain the absolute joy I receive from my grandchildren, all four of them. If you are not yet a grandmother, you have a wonderful treat waiting for you. I feel so completely and entirely priveleged to be a grandmother and I truly love it!
Go out and be kind to those who are less fortunate than you. God calls us to "Love one another as we love ourselves."
Goodnight, Carol

...and life goes on

I arrived home from Hawaii happier and more optimistic. It was good to see the kids and share all the photos and news from daddy. Then, of course there were those gifts which they all knew I would have for them. They really did absolutely devour the fresh pineapples. To me the pineapples did not seem to be as exotic and delicious as they did in Hawaii. In my heart I know that the ambiance and mystique of being with Lee in Hawaii enhanced the effects of everything. It was still very much winter in New York, the respite in Hawaii was wonderful, but the reality was we could expect much more snow and cold weather until April.
After I was home awhile we started talking about Lee coming back home and our next assignment. I had decided that the military life wasn't so bad after all. Originally, I chose to go to New York to be around family, however I did not feel very supported by family. In reality, my old friends were much more supportive and present for me. While I was in New York my father had offered me some land to build a house when Lee finished his tour of duty in the Army. Initially I was very excited about the prospect of having our own home. Then I started thinking about living so close to my parents and the possible repercussions of that arrangement. There is always a price to be paid My relationship with my mother had always been strained, and both my parents were always critical of the decisions which Lee and I made. Consequently, we said "no thank you". Lee still owed the military 1 more year of service for his anesthesia schooling and we felt like we could not make any future plans until that commitment was fulfilled.
Our son became sick around the time of Easter vacation. He was complaining of a sore throat and a general feeling of malaise. I took him to my pediatrician who diagnosed a sore throat and upper respiratory infection. He did not do a throat culture and he did not prescribe penicillin. Remember this was 1971 and penicillin was quite popular. The choices of antibiotics were few compared to now. Our son started complaining of joint pain, and then began having difficulty walking because his ankles were swollen and painful. At this time I was not a nurse, but I started looking up his symptoms in the "Merck Manual" and I had concluded that it was Rheumatic Fever. All the signs and symptoms were there plain as day. Another visit to the pediatrician and after examining our son the doc said "well I don't think it is Rheumatic Fever, but I will order some blood work." The next day the doctor called me at home to say "yes, it is Rheumatic Fever and your son needs to be hospitalized." Our son was in the hospital for several days including Easter. It turned out that year the only holiday that we actually spent with family had been Thanksgiving. All of the other holidays the kids were ill and we stayed home by ourselves. While our son was in the hospital his medication was changed to Penicillin which he took for many years as a prophylactic to protect his heart. Lee and I continued our daily letter writing throughout the year so Lee had been getting daily reports on our son. He called me one night around 0200 (because of time change)to tell me that Todd had Rheumatic Fever. By that time our son was home and on the mend and another scary situation was history.
At the beginning of that year as I have recalled to you early in my story, I was depressed and terrified at the thought of Lee being gone for an entire year. I truly did not know if I would be able to manage by myself and handle all of the responsibilities. In retrospect, I matured a great deal that year. I had to be there, and be present for our children, and able to make decisions by myself. When Lee came home I was actually proud of myself and proud of the way I responded to adversity that year. It was good for me because if I had not succeeded and Lee would have been called back it would not bode well for his career. So the gamble was worth it, although poor Lee left us with feelings of trepidation and uncertainty.
The day finally arrived for Lee's homecoming. It was somewhat disappointing because Lee was instructed not to wear his military uniform home. The American people were so anti Viet Nam and demonstrating all over, it was just safer not to antagonize them. The children and I were so very proud of him and what he had experienced during his Viet Nam tour that we were disappointed. The main thing was that he was home safely. It was Father's Day and it was wonderful to have Lee return home on that day. You may recall that he left on Father's Day of 1970 and it was a sad and unsettling day. None of the family came over and the kids and I were all alone after we took Lee to the airport.
Lee seemed more quiet when he came home and really did not want to talk about his Viet Nam experience. He was exhausted after the long, long flight home and we were just happy that he was home safe and sound with us. On July 4th we all went to see the fireworks with Lee's brother and his family. The fireworks bothered Lee as the sound was similar to the bombs being dropped in Viet Nam. Otherwise, I never saw anything disturbing about Lee's behavior as a result of Viet Nam. One thing that I did notice and it was different behavior for Lee is that he seemed to drink more alcohol. He said in Viet Nam most of the medical personnel drank all day, and played cards. In between taking care of casualties they drank, some smoked pot as well. The surgeons drank, anesthesia personnel drank as well as ancillary staff. Drinking was sort of a way of life for that year. It was the personnels way of numbing themselves to the terrible atrocities they witnessed every day. Lee had gone directly from anesthesia school to the operating rooms of Viet Nam. He, like thousands of others was not prepared for what he saw every day. Over the years Lee has made statements like "I don't know if we did any favors by saving some of those guys." At that time military medicine was being heralded because of the higher survival rate. Lee said that many 18 and 19 year olds who had lost their arms or legs or both, or some who also lost their sight, were heart breaking to see. Many of these guys were angry that they had survived only to face a lifetime of rehabilitation and adjusting to life after Viet Nam.
Our new duty station was to be Fort Devens, Mass. which we were thrilled about. We love New England and enjoyed the more temperate weather compared to Texas and Oklahoma. Lee's boss was a woman we had known at Fort Sill, OK. He was very happy with his new assignment as was I. Actually, this Lt Col who was Lee's boss turned into a wonderful friend. We were priveleged to have her friendship until 1983 when she passed away with breast cancer. She was only 60 years old, and had been a confidant, and huge support to me during a turbulent time with our son. She was absolutely the most non judgemental individual I have ever met, and I was devastated when she passed away. Fortunately, I was able to fly from Austin, Texas (our assignment after Europe) to Presque Isle, Maine to spend a few precious days with her before she died.
Until next time, be good to one another. Carol

Our 5 magical days in Hawaii

I will always be happy that Lee and I spent the money to go on R&R to Hawaii. After all we never really had a "proper" honeymoon. We didn't have much time, and certainly no money, and we were 18 years old. What did we know about how wonderful a honeymoon could be? At this time we had been married for 11 years and understood the ups and downs of marriage a whole lot better, and appreciated each other a whole lot more. Our understanding of life seemed to be much more clear after we had experienced a few more years of life and loss, we realized how "fragile" life is. The day before I left NewYork for Hawaii I visited Lee's sister in the hospital. She had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had undergone a radical mastectomy. A couple years later the cancer had spread and it became imperative for her to undergo another mastectomy. A few years later she subsequently succumbed to cancer. By that time she had gone through surgery for removal of her pituitary gland and surgery to repair a broken hip, she was 49 years old.
Now we return to our "Adventure in Hawaii." It seemed like we never left our hotel room for about 24 hrs. After all we had a lot of time to make up for, in reality, of course, it wasn't really that long. Our hotel was called "The Pagoda Hotel" with a floating restaurant. There was a pond which was filled with hundreds of Koi, a beautiful colorful fish from Japan. They were fascinating to us as we had never experienced anything such as this beautiful display. At feeding time the restaurant help would ring a hand held bell and the Koi would all gather for food, it was impressive!
The afternoon of our first day in Hawaii we rented a car, nothing very fancy. A lot of couples rented dune buggies and all sorts of unique transportation. We were just so happy to be together we didn't care what kind of car we drove. The Island of Oahu is approximately 45 miles around it, so we set out on our adventure. There were beautiful pineapple fields which belong to Dole. I had never eaten FRESH pineapple and it is so absolutely delicious and juicy, we really indulged ourselves. When it was time to return to the states I actually brought 4 pineapples home to the kids.
The weather was absolutely fantastic, sunny with some light trade winds which are normal for February. Being of very fair complexion and never having visited a place where the sun was so intensive I didn't realize that I was doing some serious damage to my skin. I actually sustained 3rd degree burns on my nose and right arm. When I returned to NY I looked like "Rudolph" with a very edematous arm. Luckily, I was able to take care of it without getting infection. Nowadays, so much more is known about skin damage that I would have used a high SPF to protect myself adequately.
That first night in Hawaii we attended a show. In retrospect it wasn't such a big deal and most people nowadays would not even recognize the featured performer's name, but it was marvelous to us. The man was a star on Hawaii 50 called "ZULU." This was really out of character for us to go to a club, but this was a different time and place. There were service men and woman jamming the restaurants and clubs, doing exactly what we were doing. Lee and I sat down at a table filled with other couples, and had a wonderful time. The irony of that evening is that we never exchanged names with a single soul, and yet we had so much fun,and a fantastic experience which I will always remember. I think we attended the 0200 show, IMAGINE!!
One day we spent on the beach which was beautiful. The water in the Pacific is absolutely breath taking. It is so-o-o blue, like nothing we had ever seen before. It was so enchanting and bewitching for the two of us to just walk along the miles and miles of beaches. We picked up shells and mementos and just enjoying being together alone.
My father had been in the Navy during World War 11 so I wanted to take a boat out to see The USS Arizona. The Navy is in charge of that particular memorial and provides a boat to transport sightseeing groups out to the memorial. This site is the burial grounds for 1177 men who went down with the ship. Their bodies were never retrieved and the site became their permanent resting place. It is beyond thought provoking to stand on that memorial, I cannot adequately express the deep sadness and sense of loss I felt standing there watching the reactions of others standing there. Perhaps, some of them were the wives, girlfriends, and/or family members who were tossing their leis out into the water surrounding the memorial. Maybe some of them were hoping to communicate somehow with their lost loved one with just their memories and presence. I actually believe it was one of the most touching and emotional places we have visited, much akin to Arlington National Cemetery.
That night Lee and I attended another club where they had the most beautiful spread of all sorts of enticing foods I had ever seen. At that time in my life I was not very adventurous with trying new foods. My mother had been a plain cook because that is what made my father happy. Consequently, I never had tried shrimp, clams, oriental or other ethnic foods. This buffet included culinary delights which I had never seen, and in some cases was not excited about sampling either. But that night I was so happy, and excited that Lee and I were together, I was willing to try anything and be a little more brave. I mean whats the worst that could happen?? One dish that I tried was actually raw fish and when I realized it, I just swallowed it whole. Lee had already eaten some really different, even "stinky "food in Viet Nam and enjoyed it. He was always "willing to try a new food at least once."
I forgot to mention that this club had another show that night which we thoroughly enjoyed. It was Don Ho, he was a native Hawaiian, and had done shows for many, many years. Again, we sat at a table with a bunch of American troops and we all had a ball. We were all in our own "little private worlds," we had a finite period of time, and we did not squander a minute of it. That five days absolutely flew by as we knew it would. From the start we knew this, and we did not dwell on leaving each other again. Lee and I were so grateful that we had this opportunity to spend some time together. It strengthened our marriage, and enabled us to fall in love all over again on that little sojourn to Hawaii. Both of us took our marriage vows very seriously and stayed true to each other. To be honest, it never entered my mind, besides I was so busy the entire day that I would not have had the energy. There were opportunities, but I just chuckled and replied "no I really don't need company." Lee kept extremely busy in Viet Nam as well of course, although he said there were a lot of extra curricular activities going on. Mostly though the work load kept him and his colleagues very occupied. Lee said there were times when he was on anesthesia call for 36 hrs straight, with no sleep. He said he would look over all of his notes for the various procedures and everything was as it should be. When he tried to recall the cases he had no recollection of them, he was so exhausted. It was there in black and white though, so it was completed.
When it was time for Lee and I to say good-bye, it seemed a little easier than his initial departure. Now I was stronger and much more confident, it was only four more months and we knew we could do it. Ultimately, we both had wonderful memories of that magical week in Hawaii.
Carol

New year's is just around the corner

For some reason I lost the finishing couple of paragraghs for this blog. Since it is so-o late, I will not try to piece the rest of it together. AND, Maybe I'll be lucky and find it.
I do remember my last comment though. No matter what happened between you and your husband today or tonight, kiss each other good-night and apologize. Swallow your pride, cause that is what it is. Please don't stay angry, LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!
Carol

The New Year was just around the corner, we were half way there!!

The holidays were difficult without Lee, but I tried to be festive and include the children in everything. I took them shopping to help me pick out some goodies that we though Lee would enjoy. One of the days we had the most fun was packing Lee's Christmas box with packages. It was mostly Christmas cookies which the kids loved to help with. The recipe is one I found in a "Better Homes" cookbook when we were first married. Consequently, I have now been making these cookies for over 50years. Our kids still love them and the grandchildren love them also. Plus I recruit the grandchildren every Christmas nowadays to assist me with the frosting and decorating of the cookies. I let them do whatever they wish to do as far as decorating them. They have a lot of fun and eat as many as they decorate. When we prepared the box to send, I packed popcorn around the cookies which is suppose to keep the cookies fresher and also prevent mold. The kids and I tried to send all of Lee's favorites for the holidays. He looked forward to it and so did his buddies.
I forgot to mention earlier that Lee was a great gift giver, and still is to this day. He actually sent me a gift every single month that he was away. For our November anniversary he had had his picture taken in his Army Fatigues. The picture was framed,and I loved it. Our sister-in-law brought the gifts over the morning of our anniversary. First she gave me Lee's picture and then a dozen red roses which he had also ordered for me. As soon as I saw Lee's picture, the tears started to stream down my face. It was kind of bitter sweet, the gifts were wonderful, but I would rather have had Lee.
Back to the gifts which Lee sent each month. One month he sent jade earrings and a jade ring, another month he sent a mikimoto pearl necklace and the pearls are all uniform in size. Friends of our who own a jewelry store say it is very expensive now because of the uniformity in size. But I will never part with it. Both of our daughters wore it around their neck the day they were married. Most of what he sent me was jewelry. He sent the kids things that were indigenous to Viet Nam or the Orient. A bow and arrow to our son and dolls for the girls. We still have everything he sent to us.
One of the perks?? of going to Viet Nam was R&R (rest & relaxation.) Lee and I had decided before he left that we would wait until February which was actually 8 months. The 6 month mark would have been right at Christmas time, there was no way I would leave the kids at that time. Our families thought my trip to Hawaii was a total waste of time and especially money. I was not to be dissuaded, I had started putting money away as soon as Lee left ,to finance my trip. I was going to Hawaii come "Hell or HIGH WATER" I needed to go, I was compelled to go, we needed to be together alone, if only for five days. Lee needed to go, he had seen so much carnage and bloodshed and massive wounds, some of which they knew as expert medical personnel were hopeless, and could not be repaired. Lee never took pictures of the patients, or never asked them their name. All of the info he needed was in their chart.
He has spoken about that since then and said that some of the female nurses became too close to patients, and many of the nurses experienced serious psychological problems because of this. Some of the medical professionals had repercussions from what they witnessed day after day for an entire year. Lee has talked about the young "new grad" nurses who came to Viet Nam totally unprepared for what they would witness, and many of them were just devastated.
Our dear friend OJ ,who had been our sponsor at Wm Beaufort Army Hospital in El Paso became addicted to Morphine. He had started using drugs because he had terrible nightmares, and could not sleep. That addiction lasted until 1983 (15 yrs) at which time he became involved with the law and was placed in a Drug Rehabilitation Program. We are still the closet of friends, he finished the program successfully and was able to work at the Veteran's Hospital to be able to support his family. Our friendship has lasted for over 40 years through good times and bad. They are both wonderful Christian people whom we truly love.
It is time for me to get back on track now. Sometimes I think I have nothing to say and then a whole bunch of thoughts will come flooding to my memory. I guess I definitely have the "Irish Gift of Gab" or what some people refer to as "Blarney"
Earlier< I had spoken about the harrowing trip I had with my brother-in-law to the airport. The night before we had a HUGE, ENORMOUS snow storm. In the morning , my car was literally buried. I had to actually climb up on the roof of the car to start shoveling the snow out from around the car. Luckily, I got up at the crack of dawn in case something like this happened. It took me a long time to get the driveway cleared enough for us to get out. My clothes were soaked from perspiration. I got the kids all dressed, my suitcases, which had been packed for days all packed in the trunk, not the kids though , they sat in the back seat. I also had a suitcase of new clothes for Lee. He had lost considerable weight over there. When he left home he weighed right around 200# and when I saw him he weighed 167#. Lee is easy to buy for, he is always happy and pleased with whatever I pick out for him.
So, after all the shoveling,etc we set out for Lee's brother's house as they were going to take care of our children. I actually wish I would have driven because my broth-in-law was cautious to a fault, and drove so-o slowly. I looked at my watch continuously and was to the point of accepting the fact that I was going to miss my flight. Finally, we arrive at the airport. My dad was standing outside of the airport, I could tell he was angry. "Where the hell have you been.? he said. You're going to miss the flight. I dropped my suitcases, and I really did not care if I ever got them or not. I just ran as fast as I could to the designated terminal. The ladder had been taken away,(remember this is over 35 years ago when passengers were boarding the plane outside) the plane was starting to leave the terminal. All of a sudden, much to my astonishment they rolled the ladder back and escorted me up the stairs, and took me to my designated seat. I was so thankful and so relieved that my eyes just filled with tears which were streaming down my face. This was my maiden voyage on a plane, and of course I could hardly have picked a longer flight, especially when I am flying solo. The man seated next to me looked like he was in his 40's, and he appeared very pleasant. I told him where I was going and that I had never flown before. Turns out that he was a businessman, and of course he flew all of the time. He said "you know that some of us who fly frequently, have a tendency to take it for granted, and we forget about the people who have never flown before." When we arrived in Chicago's O'Hare Airport I was incredulous just at the utter size of this airport, especially when compared to Rochester where I left from. The man next to me asked if I would watch his bags while he went to freshen up, sure I said, I won't be meandering around this huge airport, thats for sure. Then I went to the restroom also just to pull myself together after my hectic start earlier. My seat mate watched my things for me which I appreciated so much. We talked a long time and I told him a lot about Lee and our life, etc. I was filled with excitement, but also very anxious regarding the stories that I had heard. Apparently, the soldiers (our guys) were brought to the airport by bus. Sadly, some of the woman waited fruitlessly for their man to get off of the bus. Some of the soldiers never came and had apparently been killed shortly after making plans for their wives to fly to Hawaii. As we approached the baggage area to look for my bags, someone tapped me on the shouder. It was Lee, and I was so-o-o happy to see him, and be in his arms again. He looked great and had a huge smile on his face. I introduced him to the man sitting next to me on the plane, and like a flash the man disappeared. My first trip had been made so much easier by him, and then I didn't even get to say thank you.
It was a beautiful day in Honolulu, sunny and warm. The weather I had left was still blizzard like conditions and very cold.
Lee hailed a taxi to drive us to "THE PAGODA HOTEL' with a floating restaurant. WOW!! pretty ritzy for us. The taxi driver drove like a maniac and I truly feared for our lives. So my attention was pretty much on our safety and I was praying that we would arrive safely at our hotel. Lee's interest were worlds away from mine, and suffice to say he was in an extremely amorous mood. He told me afterwards he wasn't even aware of the taxi driver.
Time to wrap it up for this evening, it is almost midnight already!!
Next time we take you on the most wonderful 5 days of our lives. We tried to cram every fun thing into those days. Actually, I think we did have an incredible time. We stayed out all hours of the night, we went to bars and shows, things we had never experienced before. It was MAGICAL!!
Regardless of what has happened today, don't forget to kiss your husband goodnight and tell him you love him . Men love this stuff, and you will feel better too Try it!!

1970 was a year of sadness and waiting

January 1970 started off with the passing of my maternal grandmother. My paternal grandmother had died when I was 4 years old, and I actually do remember her. She was straight from Limerick, Ireland. Her name was Elizabeth Noonan before she married my grandfather. She was in her 30's and unmarried before she emigrated to America. In 1903 she married my grandfather James, she gave birth to 6 boys from 1905 until 1919. By that time she was well into her 40's and my grandfather was in his 50's. Today we would consider that advanced age to be having a family, although delaying parenthood appears to be making a comeback nowadays. When I was born in December 1940 with red hair and bright blue eyes, my grandmother was according to my mother "over the moon." My Irish grandmother sang songs about Ireland and talked about her love for Ireland, but she was never able to return to her home country. One special memory I have about my Irish grandmother is that she was always knitting. She would sit in a large upholstered chair while doing so, and under the cushions she had several bags of candy. She doled it out rather sparingly, but it was always something to look forward to, along with her stories about the "old country." I realize that I did get a little off the track there, however I think some history about my heritage is important.
My grandmother who passed away was my mother's mother. She was an only child born in NYC to a couple who appeared to be a little more refined. My grandmother married a man who was one of 13 children, he was not very refined and was always grouchy. It was really an unlikely union. They had 5 children, my mother being the oldest daughter. I was the first granddaughter and I had a close relationship with "Grama." She never knew it, but she saved my life, many times. When things were especially bad at home I would call her and ask if I could up and stay with her for a couple of days. She never refused. Maybe she understood more than I knew at the time. I loved to go there because she always treated me special. I could choose what we ate for dinner, and she always had dessert too. Maybe that is where I inherited my sweet tooth from. "Grama" was not a very affectionate person, but I always felt safe with her and I knew she loved me. Therefore when she died in Jan 1970 I was heartbroken, and even more upsetting, I could not afford to fly to New York for her funeral. Our baby was only 9 months old, and then a 3 yr old and our son who was 9 yrs old. Lee needed to have his undivided attention on his anesthesia training, and we had no money anyway. After our daughter was born I experienced some depression although we didn't really seem to get it at the time. Actually, I need to back up here for a bit. When Michele was only 6 wks old I injured my back. I had just returned from my 6 wks checkup and I went to set the baby seat down and I felt something give in my back and I fell to the floor. The pain was excruciating and all I could do was crawl or lay on the floor. Luckily, the baby was fine and did not cry and my 3 yr old was next door with our neighbor. I spent about 2 hrs on the floor before Lee returned home from school. It was difficult for him to get me up off the floor as I was in so much pain. During labor I had severe back pain which was worse than the pain of contractions. I truly believe that is when my back was injured. Lee took me to the Army Hospital and they diagnosed it as a ruptured disc. They gave me a shot of Demerol and some muscle relaxants and sent me on my way. After the severe pain subsided I started physical therapy which helped tremendously. In the meantime I was bedridden for about 3 weeks. Our wonderful neighbor would come over and get the 2 little ones, feed them their breakfast and give me my pain medication or whatever I needed. The girls loved Mary and she kept them at her house until Lee came home. When Lee came home he did everything, prepared dinner, fed the kids and got them ready for bed. I was breast feeding so he would bring the baby to me to feed and then he would do the rest. He never once complained about anything and was always very optimistic about my recovery, and about life in general. The depression started with my back injury, then became worse with the loss of my grandmother. In March of 1970 Lee came home home with the "dreaded news" which we had both feared, but knew that it would become a reality. He had received his orders for Viet Nam. The report date was June 1970 (Father's Day) We had 2 full months to think about Lee leaving, I started losing weight from this date on, by the time he left I had lost 20 pounds, normally I weighed 120. I couldn't eat, I withdrew into myself and slept for long periods of time. It seems like when I was awake I cried much of the time, I truly did not think I could live without Lee, and I didn't know how I would manage the house and kids without him. Lee told me later he was concerned about my state of mind and health and did not know if I was strong enough for what lie ahead for a years time without him. I had chosen to return to New York to be around my family while Lee was overseas. It turned out to be the wrong decision as they were not as supportive as I had hoped they would be. However, I did have several friends who still lived there and they were wonderful to us. When we arrived back in New York it was difficult to find an apartment to rent. Just a few days before Lee was to ship out we finally found one we liked. The kicker was that it would not be available until after Lee left for Viet Nam. This was the first major hurdle which I accomplished. I was unsure of myself and anxious, however the friends and family that helped me said, "You looked like a pro." The move went well with very little damage, and we retrieved our 3 year olds red tennis shoes. (remember they had been packed with our goods 2 months ago) And so life without Lee had commenced and almost immediately, my health improved. I had 3 children to take care of and a house to look after, and it was important for me to be strong for the kids. I enrolled our son in school, it was summer vacation so he had some time for fun before dealing with a new school. Our 3 yr old needed some socializing, so I enrolled her in a preschool program which she loved. Lee and I wrote to each other every single day that we were apart. My letters to Lee were monotonous, mostly about the kids and daily life, but Lee looked forward to them and enjoyed them as well.The kids and I took rolls and rolls of pictures which we sent to Lee, and every single week we sent him a package filled with goodies. Lee said the other fellas in his unit would ask him when he was expecting another package from home. It was like I was on a mission, looking for and finding things I thought Lee would enjoy. There was everything from cookies, cakes, packed in popcorn, (to keep it from molding) canned stuffed peppers which he loved, canned baked apples, I even packed a small bottle of wine in a box of oatmeal and sent that over. Lee and I both made tapes which we exchanged, neither of us really enjoyed them though. Lee always sounded so sad and I could hear the planes in the background which upset me, so we discontinued the tapes. I had tried to get our then 10 yr old son to make a tape for his dad. He was having difficulties and said "what am I supposed to say to a machine?" He was right on target, I really did understand.
Christmas was rough for me as it is my favorite holiday and Lee and I always did things together, like picking out just the right tree, and making oodles of Christmas cookies. That year the kids wanted to cut our own tree from a local farmer's tree lot. All of the trees cost $1.00. We found the perfect tree immediately, but of course we couldn't cut a tree so quickly. We had to trudge on through hundreds more trees, and then return to the original one we found to cut and drag it out of the field. Well, I don't know if you have ever cut your own tree, but it looks much, much larger when you get it in your living room than it did in the field. This tree was huge, what was I thinking? It could have been the White House Tree or so it seemed. Another VERY important aspect of cutting your own tree is to make sure the tree is straight, it seemed that ours was not, as I tried and tried to get the trunk to fit into the tree stand. Amazingly, I got the tree up and tied it to be sure it would not tumble over. (Lee and I had had the experience of not tying the tree with string our first Christmas.) We lost many of our lovely ornaments as the tree came crashing to the floor. It seems to me that I had suggested we tie the tree which "MY FATHER always does" Lee decided he could do it just as well or maybe even better without "my father's suggestion" Anyway, by the time I managed to get the tree in place my fingers were bloody and scratched and I was almost in tears. The kids and I trimmed the tree and it looked beautiful. By this time is was bedtime for the children. We couldn't forget "Santa" and left him milk and cookies for the rest of the trip. Before they went to bed I read them "Twas the Night Before Christmas" which I continued until they were in their teens. They always laughed at me, but always inquired about the where abouts of that book. After the kids were all tucked in came the REAL challenge. When I did my Christmas shopping I never took notice of how many toys had to be assembled. My hands were really skinned up and bloody after screwing at least a million screws into a play stove, sink and refrigerator. That was just one child's toys. It was to be a l-o-n-g night, and to make matters worse it was my 30th birthday!! Time to get a bottle of wine out, and what the heck I'll smoke a few cigarettes too. I mean I was "wild" and really "let my hair down." Finally, about 0300 I was finished with everything I had to do ,and it was my bedtime. It was short lived, the kids came in to wake me about 0500 to exclaim, "Mommy, Santa came, Santa found us in our new house." On Christmas morning we were supposed to go to my parents house for Christmas Day and dinner. It turned out that our 3 year old had nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, and we stayed home with just me and my 3 kids. We actually had loads of fun playing games, watching X-mas specials and eating special treats.
The New Year is fast approaching and Lee is that much closer to coming back home. In mid February Lee and I had made all our plans to meet in Hawaii for 5 WONDERFUL days together, sans children. This would be my maiden flight all the way from Rochester, NY to Chicago's O'hare, then non-stop to Honolulu. The night before I was to leave for Hawaii we had a tremendous snow storm. I woke up to a "winter wonderland." and it took me quite a while to uncover my car, let alone clear the driveway. My dad had offered to take me to the airport. I had however already accepted a ride with Lee's younger brother which would prove to be harrowing.
Bye for now, Carol