When our parents heard our plans, they were not particularly supportive, but we were accustomed to adversity and continued with our plans. Actually, my parents were a trifle more encouraging than Lee's family. His parents thought is was absolutely ridiculous for a man with a family to quit his job, to go to school full time. The very idea that Lee would be financially supported by his wife was ludicrous to not only Lee's parents, but also his oldest brother. For some reason his brother's opinion influenced his parents heavily. He always seemed to weigh in with his opinions in our life while his own life and marriage was crumbling around him. The other aspect of their disapproval was the fact that Lee would be living 60 miles away from his family with only weekends to "visit."
Lee and I had paid off all of our bills, except one, and that was our 1962 Chev payment which was $82.00/month. There was no way we could afford that payment on my salary which at the time was $120.00 clear every two weeks. My dad stepped up to the plate and offered to take the car off our hands and gave us his car. My dad's car was a 1958 Chevy BelAir and we were very appreciative, our journey towards Lee's education had begun. It was the fall of 1963 and Lee would be starting his classes soon, excitement was in the air, there was also little fear of the "unknown as well.
I never had one single doubt in Lee's ability in accomplishing his goal. However, there were days when I wondered if I would be up to the task of paying all of the bills and having total responsibility of caring for our son. Also my job had become more challenging and I had been "promoted?" The best thing about now being "in charge" as they called it, was that I did not have to start work until 0830. Previous to that I started work at 0515 which created a real hardship. Fortuitously, around the time that Lee started classes my sister came to live with me, she had just graduated from high school.
She too wanted to spread her wings , but her ultimate goal was to escape the abuse at home. Although she and I did not have a particularly close relationship, she was helpful and loved our son. My sister was able to drop our son off at childcare which was only a few houses away. I picked him up about 5 pm which was much more convenient.
When Lee started school it was difficult for our son, he really missed his dad. On the weekends when Lee came home, usually on Friday night we were both very eager to see him. The weekends seem to fly by. My job required that I work every other weekend which we found difficult to contend with especially under the circumstances, but we made the beat of it. On the weekends that I worked Lee would take over all of the household duties, which included washing clothes, ironing, and having a meal ready when I arrived home. This was a huge help to me and really helped me to keep working hard towards our goal and Lee's graduation. Admittedly, there were times when I really felt overwhelmed with all of the responsibility, and even resented it. Luckily, my low moods were few and far between. This was really a test of our relationship and our marriage. We were both very committed to each other and to our goals which included looking forward to the day that we would all be together again.
I am aware that this is not an advice column, but because I feel that I was given opportunities beyond my wildest dreams, and had special people put in my life to help me to believe in myself, I would urge all of you to work hard and reach for the stars. Make a list of all of your personal attributes and then ask yourself "Am I appreciated?" "Am I allowed to grow?" We are only given one life to live and it behooves us to live it well.
Carol
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