Monday, March 29, 2010

continuation of our 50 year journey

Mrs Young was just trying to steer us in the right direction. Lee had been a member of the Honor Society and distinguished himself in other ways as well. She actually suggested that he return to college and the money would be there. That did not sound very credible or likely to us, we wanted to know exactly where the money would come from. Therefore, we continued along with our plans to marry in the fall. Many years later we discovered that Mrs. Young had assisted many students financially. Before we left that evening we assured her that Lee would absolutely return to college. She had married a man with no formal education, he was a supervisor at the canning factory. They had never had any children . She had said to me "If he goes back to school and you do not, he may become bored with you. You need to read and keep up with current events, etc so you are able to converse with people." That was some of the best information I ever received.
Our wedding plans were progressing, we did not have much money for a reception and as I have stated earlier our parents were not going to help us. Did they actually think that triviality would cause us to change our minds? We were accustomed to adversity all through our childhoods. It had always been clear that we worked hard for whatever we got. In those days we were left to our own devices, and either gave up, or persevered and worked out a solution. Now a days I think some children look to their parents or others to solve their problems.
Lee had an Aunt whom we enjoyed visiting, she was his mother's youngest sister. Many evenings we spent at her home playing cards and drinking coffee. She was definitely our advocate and suggested that family members bring food for the reception. My parents reluctance to help us with costs waned somewhat and they offered to pay for the wedding cake. The cake was a several tired confection and the cost was $35.00. Lee's sister, another advocate knew a woman who made special cakes in her home. Lee's father volunteered to pay for the beverages after he discovered thst we did not plan on having any alcoholic drinks. Then at last someone suggested that we rent the Grange Hall for the reception for the grand sum of $25.00. The wedding ceremony and mass were scheduled for 10:00 and the reception was to start at 2PM. Approximately 100 guests attended. Lee and I opened our gifts at the reception which was a custom at that time. Actually, we stayed at the reception until about 6PM.
The night before we were married Lee had taken precautions to hide our car from the wellwishers. It was all to no avail because someone leaked the place where it was supposedly sequestered. It was fun really,our "Old Ford" was covered with good luck signs and tin cans. As were driving up North to the Adirondacks for our "honeymoon" we were serenaded by automobile horns, and people hollering good wishes out the car windows. We were novice travelers and thus had not made any room reservations. Another important fact that we had not considered was that tourist season was over in the Adirondacks, and it was cold up there. Finally, we stopped at a motel where the lady who ran it took pity on us and opened a room. This was after she commented on the confetti in our hair at which point "my face was as red as a beet." Our wedding night meal consisted of cheese sandwiches we made ourselves, and a bottle of Pepsi Cola. Neither one of us had ever been in restaurants really, besides we really did not have much money. The funny part is, it was fine with both of us and we did not feel like we were missing out on anything. We were so "crazy" about each other and were just starting our journey together. We were not accustomed to frills anyway, and we were just so happy.
Just before we were married we both obtained jobs at a "State School" where we were hired as attendants. The institution housed approximately 4000 patients who were mentally challenged in some way. There were various buildings, and patients were assigned to the appropriate building for their age. The buildings started with the "children's bldg." There were infants with hydrocephaly, anacephaly, many babies born with Down's Syndrome lived there as well. Children stayed in that building until they started puberty. They were then transferred to another age appropriate building. As I have indicated we were both a couple farm kids and had never been exposed to anything like we were about to experience. The toddler age Down Syndrome children were very hypersexual as were many of the other patients. They masturbated openly which absolutely shocked me, but I was a very unsophisticated young woman with little knowledge. Every day I would share stories with my husband and ask him to explain certain words or phrases that I had heard that day. It was definitely a learning experience for both of us.
Working at this institution paid quite well for individuals without much formal education. While we both worked we had a nice income, however we were about to enter a period of time where we were very poor. We had been married about 6 wks when I became nauseated and sick every morning, reality sets in.
I must bid you adieu for this evening. This writing has really invigorated and energized me, it has made me realize how much I love my husband, and my life with him.
Carol

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