In my last blog there was some information which was not in chronological order, therefore I have decided to redo the whole thing.
So here we were in Oklahoma for the first of June 1967 and Boy!! was it hot. We had never experienced heat such as that of the west in summer. While we waited for our car to be repaired after being rear ended in Indianapolis we rented a car with air conditioning. Aah!! It was like heaven after never having AC before. It made traveling so much more comfortable, especially for our 6 month old daughter.
Lee started work at Reynolds Army Hospital as a staff nurse on the Orthopedics floor which he seemed to enjoy. It was really the first time since we were married where we felt safe and secure. Lee's check was deposited at the 1st of every month, and our health needs were all taken care of as well. However, always looming over us on a daily basis was the threat of receiving orders fir Viet Nam. It seemed that almost everyday when Lee came home he had news of another of our nurses being sent to Viet Nam. The day that Lee joined the Army he had been told by the recruiter "don't worry, we have plenty of volunteers for Nam. What they neglected to tell him was that almost all of the volunteers were females. Life continued and we tried not to dwell on the negatives. Lee was satisfied with his job, and felt that he was learning a great deal. The people we had met were lovely, gracious and giving people which always makes a transition easier.
One of our biggest hurdles to jump over was the once a month payday. In the past we both had been paid bi-weekly, and even then sometimes it was difficult to make ends meet. The military check is deposited on the first day of the month and there is no more money until the first day of the next month. At first, I said "no way will I be able to do that." Well, guess what? I did learn to do it and quite quickly really. It just takes some organization, meal planning, budgeting and cooperation by the whole family. I had learned to cook when I was a teenager, I had to help my mother out at times, especially when my dad hired workers to harvest crops. Sometimes there would be 8-10 extra men for the noon meal. My cooking skills were quite good really. As long as I have a small piece of meal or poultry, some potatoes, flour. shortening and the basics I was able to prepare a good hearty meal. Sometimes at the end of the month the groceries would really be low and it would be slim pickings, but we managed. Some of the other young couples would resort to going to the Officer's Club to eat and charged their meals 3 or 4 days before payday. My dad had always said "charging food is like paying for a dead horse, you have nothing to show for your money." Being of Irish heritage my mother always fixed meat & potatoes for my father. The fact is that my dad refused to eat spaghetti, pizza, Chinese food or any ethnic food really. I was raised in a very prejudiced family where all of the racial slurs were a daily occurrence. People were stigmatized according to their race.
At that time, which was many years ago, the military had good "perks". One of them was the military health care system which Lee would be requiring approximately 6 months after starting active duty.
When Lee had been in that collision while still a student, he also received serious injuries to his right knee. At the point of impact from the other car his knees were shoved under the dashboard and his right knee sustained a crushed knee cap which has bothered Lee ever since. For several months Lee had experienced more and more pain and did use NSAIDS and sometimes stronger medications to ease his pain. Finally, I convinced Lee that he should have an Orthopedic physician evaluate his knee. He was seen in the morning and a date was set up for surgery. That very afternoon Lee received his first orders for Viet Nam. It was approximately the 2oth of December, the actual day of Lee's knee surgery before he was notified that orders for Viet Nam had been rescinded. The knee surgery turned out to be more extensive than the doctor first thought. When Lee came out of the surgery he had a full cast from his right hip down to his ankle. I visited him that evening in the hospital and he was in a great deal of pain, and his knee was extremely swollen. His eyes were glassy from the effects of Morphine. The next day he didn't remember that I had been there. The next day Lee was in and out of consciousness and still in a lot of pain. Sometime during the night the cast split open, Lee had an infection in the surgical site. The following day they took Lee back to surgery, the wound needed to be debrided, and then a new cast would be applied. His entire leg was casted from December until May, at which time they removed half of the knee cap before they were finished.
In January of 1968 Lee and I and our two children decided to drive back to New York to see out families. Since Lee was on Convalescent leave we had some extra time, but no money to speak of to finance the trip. I think altogether we scraped up about 50 bucks and we had a SUNOCO credit card. Those were the "good old days", nothing bothered us and we just started out. It was around midnight the first day of driving that we broke a fan belt. It occured near Tulsa, Ok, and as luck would have it we found a gas station that was open all night long. Our Sunoco card came in handy early on, we charged the repair and went on our merry way. The bulk of the driving was my job because Lee's cast was on his right leg. That cast turned out to be a major conversation piece. People were very inquisitive about it, and not shy about asking questions. For example "do you have to wear that thing to bed?" "how do you, ya know, manage? My reply to those people was "where there is a will, there is a way." End of questions!
We didn't really get to spend much time with our families, and so we started back to Fort Sill. Thank God the trip back home was uneventful.
Sad news awaited us when we returned to OK. One of the CRNAS who had been sent to Viet Nam only a few months before, had been killed. Jerry had been in a plane which was on its way back to their duty station. He and a whole cadre of others, doctors, nurses, and other medical personnel had been helping one of the Evacuation hospitals who had been inundated with serious casualties. On the way back they encountered engine problems, the engines stalled and the plane crashed into the side of a mountain. All members of the military on board were killed.
Our group at Ft Sill's Hospital were very tight, we spent a lot of time together. We could get a party/picnic together in record time and have 25-30 people show up at one of our homes. Everbody brought food and drinks and there was always plenty to go around in case someone showed up late. Therefore, everyone felt the terrible loss and waste of a young man's life. Jerry was 30 years old and left behind his wife and infant daughter. Life went on, it always does, but Viet Nam loomed large over the rest of us like a terrible invisible ogre!!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
continuation of "the saga continues"
So here we were in Oklahoma the first of June 1967 and Boy! was it hot. We had never experienced heat such as that of the west in summer. While we waited for our car to be repaired after being hit in Indianapolis we rented a car with air-conditioning. Aah! It was like heaven after never having it before. The heat is very tough on infants and babies, so our baby traveled so-o much better when she was cool.
Lee started work at Reynolds Army Hospital as a staff nurse on the Orthopedics floor and he enjoyed it very much. It was the first time since we were married where we felt so safe and secure. However, looming over us on a daily basis was the threat of receiving orders for Viet Nam. It seemed almost everyday when Lee came home he had news of another of our nurses being sent to Nam. Lee had been told when he volunteered for the "Army Nurse Corp" don't worry we have plenty of volunteers for Nam. What they neglected to say was that almost all of the volunteers were females.
Lee's knee had become more and more painful and I finally convinced him to see the Orthopedic physician. He was seen by the doc in the morning and a date was set for surgery. That very afternoon Lee received his first orders for Viet Nam. It was about the 20th of December, the actual day of Lee's knee surgery before he was told that he would not be going to Viet Nam this time around. The knee surgery turned out to be more extensive than we thought. When Lee came out of the surgery he had a full cast from his right hip to his ankle. I visited him that evening in the hospital and he was in a great deal of pain and the knee was very swollen. He was sedated with morphine and he didn't remember that I had been there. Sometime during the night the cast split open, Lee had an infection in the surgical site. The next day they took Lee back to surgery and the wound had to be debrided, and then a new cast was applied. His entire leg was casted from Dec. until May when it was removed.
Before Lee entered the Army we were accustomed to being paid bi-weekly which sometimes was difficult enough, trying to make ends meet. In the military we were introduced into a new system. The military check was deposited in Lee's checking account once at the beginning of the month. So it was a whole new experience for us to try and shop at the 1st of the month and make the food last until the next month. It really required meal planning which was novel to me, but I learned quite quickly. As long as I had some meat and potatoes and flour, shortening and the basics I was able to put a meal together. Being of Irish heritage my mother always fixed meat and potatoes for my father because he refused to eat spaghetti, pizza, Chinese food or any ethnic food. Sometimes at the end of the month it would be slim pickings, but we managed. Some of the other young couples would run out of food at the end of the month and go to the "Officer's Club" for 3 or 4 days before payday and charge their meals. We never had to resort to that. Lee always said "that is like paying for a dead horse."
Our health care was all provided by the military hospital and Lee would need their services after approximately 6 months of active duty. When he had been in the head-on collision while still a student he also injured his right knee quite seriously. When the other car hit him head=on his knees were pushed under the dashboard, basically crushing the right knee cap For some several months he had experienced severe knee pain and pain killers.
Lee started work at Reynolds Army Hospital as a staff nurse on the Orthopedics floor and he enjoyed it very much. It was the first time since we were married where we felt so safe and secure. However, looming over us on a daily basis was the threat of receiving orders for Viet Nam. It seemed almost everyday when Lee came home he had news of another of our nurses being sent to Nam. Lee had been told when he volunteered for the "Army Nurse Corp" don't worry we have plenty of volunteers for Nam. What they neglected to say was that almost all of the volunteers were females.
Lee's knee had become more and more painful and I finally convinced him to see the Orthopedic physician. He was seen by the doc in the morning and a date was set for surgery. That very afternoon Lee received his first orders for Viet Nam. It was about the 20th of December, the actual day of Lee's knee surgery before he was told that he would not be going to Viet Nam this time around. The knee surgery turned out to be more extensive than we thought. When Lee came out of the surgery he had a full cast from his right hip to his ankle. I visited him that evening in the hospital and he was in a great deal of pain and the knee was very swollen. He was sedated with morphine and he didn't remember that I had been there. Sometime during the night the cast split open, Lee had an infection in the surgical site. The next day they took Lee back to surgery and the wound had to be debrided, and then a new cast was applied. His entire leg was casted from Dec. until May when it was removed.
Before Lee entered the Army we were accustomed to being paid bi-weekly which sometimes was difficult enough, trying to make ends meet. In the military we were introduced into a new system. The military check was deposited in Lee's checking account once at the beginning of the month. So it was a whole new experience for us to try and shop at the 1st of the month and make the food last until the next month. It really required meal planning which was novel to me, but I learned quite quickly. As long as I had some meat and potatoes and flour, shortening and the basics I was able to put a meal together. Being of Irish heritage my mother always fixed meat and potatoes for my father because he refused to eat spaghetti, pizza, Chinese food or any ethnic food. Sometimes at the end of the month it would be slim pickings, but we managed. Some of the other young couples would run out of food at the end of the month and go to the "Officer's Club" for 3 or 4 days before payday and charge their meals. We never had to resort to that. Lee always said "that is like paying for a dead horse."
Our health care was all provided by the military hospital and Lee would need their services after approximately 6 months of active duty. When he had been in the head-on collision while still a student he also injured his right knee quite seriously. When the other car hit him head=on his knees were pushed under the dashboard, basically crushing the right knee cap For some several months he had experienced severe knee pain and pain killers.
"The saga continues"
Lee and I and our children finally arrived in Lawton, Oklahoma in mid afternoon. Fort Sill is located here. Lee had been given the name of a couple who were our "sponsors". New officers were given sponsors to show them around the post, and help them out finding a house or apartment. It was a young couple who were both in the Army. They had met in Viet Nam and had kind of a whirlwind courtship. They married after a very short time, unfortunately their marriage did not survive very long after they returned to the States. It seems he didn't bother to tell her he had 2 sons and an ex wife, none of which she knew when she married him.
They were good to us and showed us the ropes and introduced us to the other male nurses and their families. Actually, there was a fairly large contingent stationed at Ft Sill, 14 male nurses and their families. They welcomed us with open arms and we immediately were brought into the fold.
The night that we arrived at Ft Sill Lee was still experiencing severe pain and we took another trip to the Army Hospital. Again the physician gave him morphine and we returned to our room at the Officer's Club. It was the next afternoon before the kidney stone finally passed which alleviated Lee's pain and was one less problem to deal with. Over the past 50 years of our life together I think it would be accurate too say that Lee has passed at least 17 or 18 kidney stones. They seem to be a scourge in his family as his mother and 3 brothers have all experienced them. Lee had a 4 year hiatus from the stones when he was stationed in Heidelberg, Germany. The reason, we hypothesize is that we all drank bottled water the entire time we lived there which had been recommended to us.
They were good to us and showed us the ropes and introduced us to the other male nurses and their families. Actually, there was a fairly large contingent stationed at Ft Sill, 14 male nurses and their families. They welcomed us with open arms and we immediately were brought into the fold.
The night that we arrived at Ft Sill Lee was still experiencing severe pain and we took another trip to the Army Hospital. Again the physician gave him morphine and we returned to our room at the Officer's Club. It was the next afternoon before the kidney stone finally passed which alleviated Lee's pain and was one less problem to deal with. Over the past 50 years of our life together I think it would be accurate too say that Lee has passed at least 17 or 18 kidney stones. They seem to be a scourge in his family as his mother and 3 brothers have all experienced them. Lee had a 4 year hiatus from the stones when he was stationed in Heidelberg, Germany. The reason, we hypothesize is that we all drank bottled water the entire time we lived there which had been recommended to us.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
we embark on a new career, and a new life
Lee arrived home from Basic Training, the kids and I went to the airport to pick him up. He looked so handsome in his uniform, we were so proud of him. The good part was that Lee was home, but we had to get packed up and ready to start on our journey out west within 2 days.
We started out for Oklahoma two days later early in the morning, Lee was driving and I was the navigator. Basically, I had no experience, but I learned quickly. Our baby was 6 months old at that time and I was still breast feeding. Both of the kids were good travelers and slept part of the way. Our son and I played games and marveled at the sights we were seeing. We drove as far as Ohio the first night, I don't recall how many miles it was, but it was certainly farther than either of us had ever traveled in a car. It was just so wonderful to be all together as a family starting out on a new adventure. It didn't take much to make us happy! We had an uneventful night and we were ready to hit the road the next morning after breakfast. Our finances were pretty limited so we had packed a cooler with drinks and snacks for the kids and a few sandwiches as well. I guess we didn't know any better and we were not accustomed to having money so we just made due the best we knew how.
That morning we started out it was May 31st and our itinerary was mapped out to go directly through Indianapolis, Indiana, the day of the Indy 500. It never occurred to us, we had a plan and we couldn't let a little distraction like that worry us. Right around noon time or a little past we were stopped at a red light and a car rear ended us. He was traveling about 30 miles/hr, so it was a huge jolt. I can still remember my neck snapping backwards and then forwards, but it was the children we were concerned about. Thank God they were fine, the baby was a little scrunched up in her bassinet, but no worse for wear than that, and our son was fine as was Lee. Thankfully, we all had our seat belts on.
The car that hit us had two passengers, both men were obviously drunk and headed for the Indy 500. The police came and I told them that the men were drunk, plus there was a cooler of beer in the back seat. The police blew it off saying "they have enough other problems to deal with." The rear end of our car was heavily damaged and it was impossible to get the trunk closed, so we resorted to tying it the best we could so that we could continue on. In the interim I went to the Emergency Room as I was experiencing neck and back pain. They did some x-rays and we were on our way, Lee had a dead line and we did not have time to waste. Consequently, we were going to travel further that day because of the delay in Indianapolis. After the drive through St Louis, Missouri we stopped in the first small town we came across. It had been quite an experience driving through St Louis right about rush hour. After all we were a couple of "country bumpkins" and had never really seen that volume of traffic before. We rented a motel room, had something to eat and then everyone took their showers and relaxed for a short time before we retired for the night. Sleep was not to be, around 1:30 in the morning Lee woke me up and told me he thought he was passing a kidney stone. The year before while driving back to New York he had experienced his first stone. He was soaked with perspiration and writhing in pain. Here we were in a strange city, in the middle of the night, with 2 small children and a pekingese dog which we were not supposed to have in the room. At first I was so scared I didn't know what to do, but then I decided to run over to the office and tell the proprietor our predicament. She was so good to us, and could have cared less about the dog. The kids were sleeping and she came right to our room and told us she would stay with them while I drove Lee to the hospital. (Actually, she loved the dog) We had no idea where to go, after all it was a totally strange city to us. I spotted a Police car parked along the street and I stopped and explained our plight to them. Within seconds we were on our way to the hospital with a Police escort, speeding down the middle of town, sirens and all. The Lord certainly was watching over us that night and actually has been our entire lives Lee explained to the ER physician that he had experienced a kidney stone the year before. He also informed him that he was expected to report for duty at Fort Sill Ok. and it was imperative that we not be delayed. Surprisingly, the physician medicated Lee with morphine and gave him some oral pills to hold him over until we arrived at Ft. Sill. It was dawn by the time Lee and I returned to the motel, we packed up the kids and decided to get a super early start to our destination. Lee was quite heavily medicated so therefore I would have to drive the last leg of the trip to Oklahoma. In retrospect, I never hesitated a second, I had to do whatever it took to get us there safely to start our new life. Lee was asleep most of the time and therefore unable to assist me in finding routes,etc. So therefore I just became very vigilant watching for signs for the interstate highways and by passes, and we arrived safely and punctually. Our dilemma however was not finished.
To be continued. Goodnight folks,
Carol
We started out for Oklahoma two days later early in the morning, Lee was driving and I was the navigator. Basically, I had no experience, but I learned quickly. Our baby was 6 months old at that time and I was still breast feeding. Both of the kids were good travelers and slept part of the way. Our son and I played games and marveled at the sights we were seeing. We drove as far as Ohio the first night, I don't recall how many miles it was, but it was certainly farther than either of us had ever traveled in a car. It was just so wonderful to be all together as a family starting out on a new adventure. It didn't take much to make us happy! We had an uneventful night and we were ready to hit the road the next morning after breakfast. Our finances were pretty limited so we had packed a cooler with drinks and snacks for the kids and a few sandwiches as well. I guess we didn't know any better and we were not accustomed to having money so we just made due the best we knew how.
That morning we started out it was May 31st and our itinerary was mapped out to go directly through Indianapolis, Indiana, the day of the Indy 500. It never occurred to us, we had a plan and we couldn't let a little distraction like that worry us. Right around noon time or a little past we were stopped at a red light and a car rear ended us. He was traveling about 30 miles/hr, so it was a huge jolt. I can still remember my neck snapping backwards and then forwards, but it was the children we were concerned about. Thank God they were fine, the baby was a little scrunched up in her bassinet, but no worse for wear than that, and our son was fine as was Lee. Thankfully, we all had our seat belts on.
The car that hit us had two passengers, both men were obviously drunk and headed for the Indy 500. The police came and I told them that the men were drunk, plus there was a cooler of beer in the back seat. The police blew it off saying "they have enough other problems to deal with." The rear end of our car was heavily damaged and it was impossible to get the trunk closed, so we resorted to tying it the best we could so that we could continue on. In the interim I went to the Emergency Room as I was experiencing neck and back pain. They did some x-rays and we were on our way, Lee had a dead line and we did not have time to waste. Consequently, we were going to travel further that day because of the delay in Indianapolis. After the drive through St Louis, Missouri we stopped in the first small town we came across. It had been quite an experience driving through St Louis right about rush hour. After all we were a couple of "country bumpkins" and had never really seen that volume of traffic before. We rented a motel room, had something to eat and then everyone took their showers and relaxed for a short time before we retired for the night. Sleep was not to be, around 1:30 in the morning Lee woke me up and told me he thought he was passing a kidney stone. The year before while driving back to New York he had experienced his first stone. He was soaked with perspiration and writhing in pain. Here we were in a strange city, in the middle of the night, with 2 small children and a pekingese dog which we were not supposed to have in the room. At first I was so scared I didn't know what to do, but then I decided to run over to the office and tell the proprietor our predicament. She was so good to us, and could have cared less about the dog. The kids were sleeping and she came right to our room and told us she would stay with them while I drove Lee to the hospital. (Actually, she loved the dog) We had no idea where to go, after all it was a totally strange city to us. I spotted a Police car parked along the street and I stopped and explained our plight to them. Within seconds we were on our way to the hospital with a Police escort, speeding down the middle of town, sirens and all. The Lord certainly was watching over us that night and actually has been our entire lives Lee explained to the ER physician that he had experienced a kidney stone the year before. He also informed him that he was expected to report for duty at Fort Sill Ok. and it was imperative that we not be delayed. Surprisingly, the physician medicated Lee with morphine and gave him some oral pills to hold him over until we arrived at Ft. Sill. It was dawn by the time Lee and I returned to the motel, we packed up the kids and decided to get a super early start to our destination. Lee was quite heavily medicated so therefore I would have to drive the last leg of the trip to Oklahoma. In retrospect, I never hesitated a second, I had to do whatever it took to get us there safely to start our new life. Lee was asleep most of the time and therefore unable to assist me in finding routes,etc. So therefore I just became very vigilant watching for signs for the interstate highways and by passes, and we arrived safely and punctually. Our dilemma however was not finished.
To be continued. Goodnight folks,
Carol
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
"The end is in sight"
In May of 1966 I was again unemployed and as I have previously stated found myself standing in line at the Unemployment Office. I was embarrassed to be there on the one hand, mostly because I looked like I was going to deliver any day, in reality I was only 3 months pregnant. The good thing was that Lee was close to finishing school and I would not be needing to collect unemployment money for very long.
In September of 1966 Lee graduated from Nursing School and it was a happy,happy day for our little family of Lee and I and our son. We were so proud of Lee, he had received an award "Most improved in patient care." The last three years of hard work had culminated into this graduation night.
I doubt if anyone except Lee and I and our son could possible realize how many sacrifices or how much hard work went into reaching our goal. Our parents and some friends attended Lee's graduation. As I have stated before Lee's parent's never really valued education. They seemed to be short sighted in that respect, and apparently unaware of the monetary benefits of an education. His parents gave him a graduation card with a five dollar bill for his gift. We were stunned and hurt that they apparently did not value his efforts more than that. Upon reaching this goal we were launched into a new life, Lee already had a job offer at the local Community Hospital. His starting pay was $2.52/hour, but we were happy and thought we were millionaires. Lee took his Nursing Boards in October and it would be February before he received the results.
On November 5th,1966 our daughter was born, she weighed 8# 9oz. My labor presented differently than our son and I was not sure if I was really in labor. Lee kept trying to get me to go to the hospital. Our son had one of his cousins staying over for the night and he was not happy that I had "chosen" that particular night to have the baby. "Can't you wait until tommorrow Mom?" By this time I was feeling like "this is it". So Lee took our nephew home which was only a ten minute ride, and dropped our son off at his brother's house. By the time Lee arrived back home I was in active labor and wondered if I would even make it to the hospital. It was only a 10 minute drive to the hospital, but believe me it was not a pleasant ride. By the time I was admitted and got to Labor/Delivery I was 8cm and delivered a short time later. They literally ran down the hall with me on the stretcher to the delivery room. Our little family was growing, now instead of three of us which is the way it was for 6 years, now there were 4 of us. It is amazing how the last 3 years faded into the distance so rapidly. We kind of just picked up where we left off and continued to move forward. In February of 1967 Lee received his notification that he had passed his Nursing Boards. Shortly after that Lee received a direct commission into The Army Nurse Corp as a 2nd Lt. He received his orders at that time and was on his way to Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas where he spent 6 weeks Basic Training.
I stayed in New York with the children. Our son still had to finish the school year which in NY was June. During the intervening time the moving van showed up at our house and packed us up. It was quite an experience for me. I knew nothing about the process and to make matters more complicated Lee was not home yet. They tell you that the movers will take care of everything and they pretty much do, but I had to separate out the kids clothes, and our clothes. plus anything you thought you might need before the moving van pulls up at your new residence. The packers will pack EVERYTHING, even a wastebasket full of trash or in one case the sheets that I had just removed from our mattress were packed. Believe me, I learned very quickly to get our stuff in one corner away from the packers. They are very fast and there were a few mishaps the first couple of moves, but we got the hang of it pretty quick. For Lee's first duty station he was assigned to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Neither one of us had any experience traveling out of state, and we started out on this huge trip to Oklahoma with 2 kids and a dog and a 2 door Pontiac full of our worldly possessions. Youth definitely has it's advantages and we were so happy, excited, and looking for new challenges and excitement. Actually, it didn't take long after we started our trek across the U.S. before things started happening. We were not really lookinf for this kind of excitement.
Until next time, BE SAFE AND ENJOY EACH OTHER!!
Carol
In September of 1966 Lee graduated from Nursing School and it was a happy,happy day for our little family of Lee and I and our son. We were so proud of Lee, he had received an award "Most improved in patient care." The last three years of hard work had culminated into this graduation night.
I doubt if anyone except Lee and I and our son could possible realize how many sacrifices or how much hard work went into reaching our goal. Our parents and some friends attended Lee's graduation. As I have stated before Lee's parent's never really valued education. They seemed to be short sighted in that respect, and apparently unaware of the monetary benefits of an education. His parents gave him a graduation card with a five dollar bill for his gift. We were stunned and hurt that they apparently did not value his efforts more than that. Upon reaching this goal we were launched into a new life, Lee already had a job offer at the local Community Hospital. His starting pay was $2.52/hour, but we were happy and thought we were millionaires. Lee took his Nursing Boards in October and it would be February before he received the results.
On November 5th,1966 our daughter was born, she weighed 8# 9oz. My labor presented differently than our son and I was not sure if I was really in labor. Lee kept trying to get me to go to the hospital. Our son had one of his cousins staying over for the night and he was not happy that I had "chosen" that particular night to have the baby. "Can't you wait until tommorrow Mom?" By this time I was feeling like "this is it". So Lee took our nephew home which was only a ten minute ride, and dropped our son off at his brother's house. By the time Lee arrived back home I was in active labor and wondered if I would even make it to the hospital. It was only a 10 minute drive to the hospital, but believe me it was not a pleasant ride. By the time I was admitted and got to Labor/Delivery I was 8cm and delivered a short time later. They literally ran down the hall with me on the stretcher to the delivery room. Our little family was growing, now instead of three of us which is the way it was for 6 years, now there were 4 of us. It is amazing how the last 3 years faded into the distance so rapidly. We kind of just picked up where we left off and continued to move forward. In February of 1967 Lee received his notification that he had passed his Nursing Boards. Shortly after that Lee received a direct commission into The Army Nurse Corp as a 2nd Lt. He received his orders at that time and was on his way to Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas where he spent 6 weeks Basic Training.
I stayed in New York with the children. Our son still had to finish the school year which in NY was June. During the intervening time the moving van showed up at our house and packed us up. It was quite an experience for me. I knew nothing about the process and to make matters more complicated Lee was not home yet. They tell you that the movers will take care of everything and they pretty much do, but I had to separate out the kids clothes, and our clothes. plus anything you thought you might need before the moving van pulls up at your new residence. The packers will pack EVERYTHING, even a wastebasket full of trash or in one case the sheets that I had just removed from our mattress were packed. Believe me, I learned very quickly to get our stuff in one corner away from the packers. They are very fast and there were a few mishaps the first couple of moves, but we got the hang of it pretty quick. For Lee's first duty station he was assigned to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Neither one of us had any experience traveling out of state, and we started out on this huge trip to Oklahoma with 2 kids and a dog and a 2 door Pontiac full of our worldly possessions. Youth definitely has it's advantages and we were so happy, excited, and looking for new challenges and excitement. Actually, it didn't take long after we started our trek across the U.S. before things started happening. We were not really lookinf for this kind of excitement.
Until next time, BE SAFE AND ENJOY EACH OTHER!!
Carol
Monday, April 19, 2010
"the beat goes on" (continues)
When I say I was angry that Lee had joined the Army, in actuality it was fear. Fear of having to be separated again and fear of Lee being injured. It was 1964 and Viet Nam was going full throttle. Several of Lee's buddies had been drafted and then did not receive their direct commission after they finished Nursing School. The other reason for him to join is that I would receive a check every month for approximately $120.00. We really needed the money as our coffers were getting pretty depleted and we could not make my paycheck stretch any further. Times were very different then, I was only allowed to work 3 months and then I became unemployed. As always with Lee he had made the correct decision. Never in a million years did we fore-see that Lee would make this his career for the next 23 years.
His year in New York had come to an end which was "bitter sweet." Sure there was the distance which certainly proved to be an huge inconvenience, but the experiences he garnered were priceless.
About a month after Christmas Lee was in a head on collision while returning to school on a Sunday evening. As I have previously mentioned he always had a car full of fellow students who needed transportation back to school. Luckily, that particular night there were only 2 other students riding with him. Lee called me from the hospital around midnight, he had suffered some lacerations of the mouth and around his left eye. Oh! and by the way he broke the steering wheel with his head. His passengers suffered some minor injuries as well. It was approximately 0100 when I arrived at the hospital, Lee looked very bruised and swollen, however I was so grateful that the injuries were not more serious. He was walking and talking and I was somewhat relieved. Several days later I had a Dr. appointment and Lee accompanied me. His face was really a mess with both eyes swollen shut and both eyes looked very bloody upon examination. The doc took one look at Lee and said "what did the X-rays show? Lee answered, "they did not take any X-rays!! The Dr. was not happy and promptly ordered some X-rays which revealed that Lee had a fractured skull. Consequently, Lee was put on "bed rest" for a couple weeks.
Oddly enough our second child was conceived during this time period. Lee really received a lot of joking and kidding about that from his classmates.
As with my first pregnancy I was only allowed to work 3 months and then abruptly I was unemployed. Now things were really tight financially. Times were tough then and woman had no recourse or "rights." I fought for an unemployment check, I even went to the Unemployment Office and stood in line, like anyone was going to hire this "hugely pregnat woman." However, I had paid for unemployment insurance for 5 years which was automatically taken out of my check, and by gosh I needed that money to support us for a few more months.
I'll stop here for tonight. LIVE, LOVE AND BE HAPPY!!
Carol
His year in New York had come to an end which was "bitter sweet." Sure there was the distance which certainly proved to be an huge inconvenience, but the experiences he garnered were priceless.
About a month after Christmas Lee was in a head on collision while returning to school on a Sunday evening. As I have previously mentioned he always had a car full of fellow students who needed transportation back to school. Luckily, that particular night there were only 2 other students riding with him. Lee called me from the hospital around midnight, he had suffered some lacerations of the mouth and around his left eye. Oh! and by the way he broke the steering wheel with his head. His passengers suffered some minor injuries as well. It was approximately 0100 when I arrived at the hospital, Lee looked very bruised and swollen, however I was so grateful that the injuries were not more serious. He was walking and talking and I was somewhat relieved. Several days later I had a Dr. appointment and Lee accompanied me. His face was really a mess with both eyes swollen shut and both eyes looked very bloody upon examination. The doc took one look at Lee and said "what did the X-rays show? Lee answered, "they did not take any X-rays!! The Dr. was not happy and promptly ordered some X-rays which revealed that Lee had a fractured skull. Consequently, Lee was put on "bed rest" for a couple weeks.
Oddly enough our second child was conceived during this time period. Lee really received a lot of joking and kidding about that from his classmates.
As with my first pregnancy I was only allowed to work 3 months and then abruptly I was unemployed. Now things were really tight financially. Times were tough then and woman had no recourse or "rights." I fought for an unemployment check, I even went to the Unemployment Office and stood in line, like anyone was going to hire this "hugely pregnat woman." However, I had paid for unemployment insurance for 5 years which was automatically taken out of my check, and by gosh I needed that money to support us for a few more months.
I'll stop here for tonight. LIVE, LOVE AND BE HAPPY!!
Carol
"and the beat goes on"
Finally, Lee's second year was completed and just a distant memory. In the fall of 1965 Lee started his last year, we were all looking forward to his graduation, and to start living our life as a family again.
At this point I need to back up for an important event which occured in September of 1964. Lee came home one weekend and declared that he had signed on with the U.S. Army. I was stunned and angry, we had not discussed this subject to my recollection.
At this point I need to back up for an important event which occured in September of 1964. Lee came home one weekend and declared that he had signed on with the U.S. Army. I was stunned and angry, we had not discussed this subject to my recollection.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
continue with Lee's second year and then the home stretch, YEA
As I have stated before, Lee drove home from New York City 50 times that year. His mother commented that "it seems like she (Me) could get along without him for a weekend." Little did she know that I did not pressure Lee to make all of those trips. Sure, I loved having him home if only for 1 1/2 days. But he wanted to come home and our son and I looked forward to seeing him. Admittedly this made me feel special that he came home so frequently. It certainly was a long drive to only spend about 1 1/2 days together.
All of these gestures, to go the extra mile, to help each other, to talk and communicate with each other all contribute to a successful marriage, in my opinion. It is really difficult to pin point what makes a successful relationship. Over the last 50 years so many people have asked us, "what is the secret?) One thing I can tell you with absolute honesty is that we are still "in love" with each other. If Lee has been gone all day I look forward to his arrival home just like I did in the beginning. All of the events of the day are discussed, albeit mundane at times. We always try to make each other feel special, he still brings me flowers for no particular reason, he still opens the car door as he did 50 years ago.
Every day of out lives we express our love for one another. I am aware that for some this all sounds very corny, it works for us. These acts of kindness come natural for us as well. I guess if they did not, the relationship would not flow as easily. Believe me when I tell you that I thank God every day of my life for my husband. I have been blessed and I am well aware of that. I endeavor each day to nurture and cherish our relationship.
Many years ago I read a book called "The Total Woman" which talked about ways a woman could "make her man happy." I am not going to delve in to the book at this time, but suffice to say, her suggestions for the most part worked. Many feminists have derided and ridiculed this book, "what about what women want",etc. It is a two way street, they are correct about that. Personally, I feel "you reap what you sow" and my husband has definitely reciprocated.
I have to stop for a while because of prior commitments, but I'll be back.
Carol
All of these gestures, to go the extra mile, to help each other, to talk and communicate with each other all contribute to a successful marriage, in my opinion. It is really difficult to pin point what makes a successful relationship. Over the last 50 years so many people have asked us, "what is the secret?) One thing I can tell you with absolute honesty is that we are still "in love" with each other. If Lee has been gone all day I look forward to his arrival home just like I did in the beginning. All of the events of the day are discussed, albeit mundane at times. We always try to make each other feel special, he still brings me flowers for no particular reason, he still opens the car door as he did 50 years ago.
Every day of out lives we express our love for one another. I am aware that for some this all sounds very corny, it works for us. These acts of kindness come natural for us as well. I guess if they did not, the relationship would not flow as easily. Believe me when I tell you that I thank God every day of my life for my husband. I have been blessed and I am well aware of that. I endeavor each day to nurture and cherish our relationship.
Many years ago I read a book called "The Total Woman" which talked about ways a woman could "make her man happy." I am not going to delve in to the book at this time, but suffice to say, her suggestions for the most part worked. Many feminists have derided and ridiculed this book, "what about what women want",etc. It is a two way street, they are correct about that. Personally, I feel "you reap what you sow" and my husband has definitely reciprocated.
I have to stop for a while because of prior commitments, but I'll be back.
Carol
Friday, April 16, 2010
Two years down and 1 more year to go
Lee had a wonderful experience at Elmhurst City Hospital in Jackson Heights, Queens, New York. It was a 1200 bed hospital, so you can imagine that he had all sorts of interesting clinical experiences. His first assignment was 6 weeks in Maternal Child, and it seems like almost at once he was delivering babies by HIMSELF. The hospital had a large OB Department and not enough nurses or docs to cover it all. He would hear a patient let out a War hoop and run in the room to help her only to find the baby was crowning and making their exit with or without medical personnel. One patient even told Lee after he helped her through her delivery. "I Love You." Lee took it all in stride. He has always been very level headed and calm in a crisis. Actually, that was one of the first of his many wonderful attributes that I noticed and admired.
My family was so-o chaotic, I never knew what to expect. I always had a foreboding feeling of apprehension and anxiety. It seems when I look back that I was always scared and afraid of repercussions for some small incident. Other times when I did something which I thought I would be killed for, they hardly reacted.
Actually, this scenario is very common behavior for an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic who has not participated in behavior modification or some type of psychotherapy.
Truthfully, as I was getting to know Lee I realized that I had never met a guy who was so kind, considerate and loving. He treated me "like a Queen" as my mother used to tell everyone. For many years my mother never believed we were as happy as we were. She would tell my sister "that is just a front, they are really not that happy." My mother did not really have a point of reference because she definitely was not happily married. As I have stated earlier I participated in Psychotherapy for many years. The psychologist told me that I probably would have been closer to my mother had I not been happy. My mother could have related to me better if I had a marriage like hers. In later years my mother really loved Lee. I used to kid him and say "If you and I ever get divorced my mother will take you."
There is one other piece of information I should reveal at this point in fairness to my mother. Originally, there were 5 children in our family. I had two older brothers, and a younger brother and sister. On November 7, 1949 my oldest brother Jim was killed in a car crash on the way to school, it was 9 days before his 15th birthday. My mother went into her own little world afterwards, and the remaining four children basically were on their own. I can remember that day so vividly. The nun came and took me out of class and someone, probably one of my uncles drove me home. The driveway was filled with cars, "who are these people and why are they here at my house?' I said to myself. Inside the house my mother was crying and inconsolable. People were fixing food and making coffee. My father was making arrangements for Jim's funeral. We were very poor, sort of the hard luck family of my father's 5 other brother's. My parents had to buy clothes suitable for my brother to be laid out in and of course they had to buy a cemetery plot. One of my cousins who was about my size lent me clothes to wear to the wake and funeral. I still remember standing near the casket during the graveside service, crying, and alone. That was the beginning of the melancholy years which basically lasted for the rest of my mother's life. Sometimes I speculate that if she would have been allowed to grieve properly things would have been different. My father would not tolerate her crying and we never were allowed to talk about my brother, therefore she would stifle her emotions. None of us were really allowed to have emotions, we were supposed to be "tough." Late at night after us kids went to bed , my mother would have a few drinks which would then precipitate her crying, and becoming emotional. Many times I was awakened by the sounds of my parents arguing and yelling at one another, at all hours of the night.
Our family moved from that house which was filled with sadness. My dad had been a tenant farmer there, coincidentally, the young man who was driving the car my brother died in was the son of the man who employed my dad. There was a great deal of bitterness between my father and the boy's father. This man was a wealthy man and owned a beautiful horse farm which my dad ran for him, but there was never any type of sympathy or remuneration offered to my family.
I'll say good night for now. Rekindling this part of my life has tired me out, more than I would have predicted.
Make the most of your life. God has given us all special gifts to enrich us and to create new experiences in our lives.
Carol
My family was so-o chaotic, I never knew what to expect. I always had a foreboding feeling of apprehension and anxiety. It seems when I look back that I was always scared and afraid of repercussions for some small incident. Other times when I did something which I thought I would be killed for, they hardly reacted.
Actually, this scenario is very common behavior for an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic who has not participated in behavior modification or some type of psychotherapy.
Truthfully, as I was getting to know Lee I realized that I had never met a guy who was so kind, considerate and loving. He treated me "like a Queen" as my mother used to tell everyone. For many years my mother never believed we were as happy as we were. She would tell my sister "that is just a front, they are really not that happy." My mother did not really have a point of reference because she definitely was not happily married. As I have stated earlier I participated in Psychotherapy for many years. The psychologist told me that I probably would have been closer to my mother had I not been happy. My mother could have related to me better if I had a marriage like hers. In later years my mother really loved Lee. I used to kid him and say "If you and I ever get divorced my mother will take you."
There is one other piece of information I should reveal at this point in fairness to my mother. Originally, there were 5 children in our family. I had two older brothers, and a younger brother and sister. On November 7, 1949 my oldest brother Jim was killed in a car crash on the way to school, it was 9 days before his 15th birthday. My mother went into her own little world afterwards, and the remaining four children basically were on their own. I can remember that day so vividly. The nun came and took me out of class and someone, probably one of my uncles drove me home. The driveway was filled with cars, "who are these people and why are they here at my house?' I said to myself. Inside the house my mother was crying and inconsolable. People were fixing food and making coffee. My father was making arrangements for Jim's funeral. We were very poor, sort of the hard luck family of my father's 5 other brother's. My parents had to buy clothes suitable for my brother to be laid out in and of course they had to buy a cemetery plot. One of my cousins who was about my size lent me clothes to wear to the wake and funeral. I still remember standing near the casket during the graveside service, crying, and alone. That was the beginning of the melancholy years which basically lasted for the rest of my mother's life. Sometimes I speculate that if she would have been allowed to grieve properly things would have been different. My father would not tolerate her crying and we never were allowed to talk about my brother, therefore she would stifle her emotions. None of us were really allowed to have emotions, we were supposed to be "tough." Late at night after us kids went to bed , my mother would have a few drinks which would then precipitate her crying, and becoming emotional. Many times I was awakened by the sounds of my parents arguing and yelling at one another, at all hours of the night.
Our family moved from that house which was filled with sadness. My dad had been a tenant farmer there, coincidentally, the young man who was driving the car my brother died in was the son of the man who employed my dad. There was a great deal of bitterness between my father and the boy's father. This man was a wealthy man and owned a beautiful horse farm which my dad ran for him, but there was never any type of sympathy or remuneration offered to my family.
I'll say good night for now. Rekindling this part of my life has tired me out, more than I would have predicted.
Make the most of your life. God has given us all special gifts to enrich us and to create new experiences in our lives.
Carol
Friday, April 9, 2010
We continue towards our goals
Lee's first year was very successful academically and personally. We both felt good about what we had achieved, and that the first year was over. One down,and two to go. We knew the second year would be more difficult to get through because Lee would be in New York City. His clinical assignment was at Elmhurst General Hospital in Queens. Truthfully, I dreaded the day he was leaving because we had anticipated long separation's. After all, we were used to the 60 mile trek every weekend, but now it was a distance of 325 miles one way. As it turned out the separation bothered Lee just as much as it did me. He made 50 trips home to be with us that year, and on Fridays everybody at work would start kidding me. Sometimes during periods away from each other it can really put a spark in your marriage. It was like a "honeymoon" every weekend. I always tried to fix a special dinner for us. Since our son was only 4 he usually went to bed early and we appreciated the time alone together. If I may insert a suggestion here, it is that married couples should continue to nurture, love and support each other all through their marriage. I am well aware that some people think that is a ridiculous idea, but you want your marriage to endure even through adversity, loss, financial difficulties, and problems with children.
Serious problems with children can sometimes be responsible for the demise of a marriage. Forgive me for getting off track again, but I felt that this information is important.
I will close for tonight. Have a wonderful weekend.
carol
Serious problems with children can sometimes be responsible for the demise of a marriage. Forgive me for getting off track again, but I felt that this information is important.
I will close for tonight. Have a wonderful weekend.
carol
Monday, April 5, 2010
A new journey begins
When our parents heard our plans, they were not particularly supportive, but we were accustomed to adversity and continued with our plans. Actually, my parents were a trifle more encouraging than Lee's family. His parents thought is was absolutely ridiculous for a man with a family to quit his job, to go to school full time. The very idea that Lee would be financially supported by his wife was ludicrous to not only Lee's parents, but also his oldest brother. For some reason his brother's opinion influenced his parents heavily. He always seemed to weigh in with his opinions in our life while his own life and marriage was crumbling around him. The other aspect of their disapproval was the fact that Lee would be living 60 miles away from his family with only weekends to "visit."
Lee and I had paid off all of our bills, except one, and that was our 1962 Chev payment which was $82.00/month. There was no way we could afford that payment on my salary which at the time was $120.00 clear every two weeks. My dad stepped up to the plate and offered to take the car off our hands and gave us his car. My dad's car was a 1958 Chevy BelAir and we were very appreciative, our journey towards Lee's education had begun. It was the fall of 1963 and Lee would be starting his classes soon, excitement was in the air, there was also little fear of the "unknown as well.
I never had one single doubt in Lee's ability in accomplishing his goal. However, there were days when I wondered if I would be up to the task of paying all of the bills and having total responsibility of caring for our son. Also my job had become more challenging and I had been "promoted?" The best thing about now being "in charge" as they called it, was that I did not have to start work until 0830. Previous to that I started work at 0515 which created a real hardship. Fortuitously, around the time that Lee started classes my sister came to live with me, she had just graduated from high school.
She too wanted to spread her wings , but her ultimate goal was to escape the abuse at home. Although she and I did not have a particularly close relationship, she was helpful and loved our son. My sister was able to drop our son off at childcare which was only a few houses away. I picked him up about 5 pm which was much more convenient.
When Lee started school it was difficult for our son, he really missed his dad. On the weekends when Lee came home, usually on Friday night we were both very eager to see him. The weekends seem to fly by. My job required that I work every other weekend which we found difficult to contend with especially under the circumstances, but we made the beat of it. On the weekends that I worked Lee would take over all of the household duties, which included washing clothes, ironing, and having a meal ready when I arrived home. This was a huge help to me and really helped me to keep working hard towards our goal and Lee's graduation. Admittedly, there were times when I really felt overwhelmed with all of the responsibility, and even resented it. Luckily, my low moods were few and far between. This was really a test of our relationship and our marriage. We were both very committed to each other and to our goals which included looking forward to the day that we would all be together again.
I am aware that this is not an advice column, but because I feel that I was given opportunities beyond my wildest dreams, and had special people put in my life to help me to believe in myself, I would urge all of you to work hard and reach for the stars. Make a list of all of your personal attributes and then ask yourself "Am I appreciated?" "Am I allowed to grow?" We are only given one life to live and it behooves us to live it well.
Carol
Lee and I had paid off all of our bills, except one, and that was our 1962 Chev payment which was $82.00/month. There was no way we could afford that payment on my salary which at the time was $120.00 clear every two weeks. My dad stepped up to the plate and offered to take the car off our hands and gave us his car. My dad's car was a 1958 Chevy BelAir and we were very appreciative, our journey towards Lee's education had begun. It was the fall of 1963 and Lee would be starting his classes soon, excitement was in the air, there was also little fear of the "unknown as well.
I never had one single doubt in Lee's ability in accomplishing his goal. However, there were days when I wondered if I would be up to the task of paying all of the bills and having total responsibility of caring for our son. Also my job had become more challenging and I had been "promoted?" The best thing about now being "in charge" as they called it, was that I did not have to start work until 0830. Previous to that I started work at 0515 which created a real hardship. Fortuitously, around the time that Lee started classes my sister came to live with me, she had just graduated from high school.
She too wanted to spread her wings , but her ultimate goal was to escape the abuse at home. Although she and I did not have a particularly close relationship, she was helpful and loved our son. My sister was able to drop our son off at childcare which was only a few houses away. I picked him up about 5 pm which was much more convenient.
When Lee started school it was difficult for our son, he really missed his dad. On the weekends when Lee came home, usually on Friday night we were both very eager to see him. The weekends seem to fly by. My job required that I work every other weekend which we found difficult to contend with especially under the circumstances, but we made the beat of it. On the weekends that I worked Lee would take over all of the household duties, which included washing clothes, ironing, and having a meal ready when I arrived home. This was a huge help to me and really helped me to keep working hard towards our goal and Lee's graduation. Admittedly, there were times when I really felt overwhelmed with all of the responsibility, and even resented it. Luckily, my low moods were few and far between. This was really a test of our relationship and our marriage. We were both very committed to each other and to our goals which included looking forward to the day that we would all be together again.
I am aware that this is not an advice column, but because I feel that I was given opportunities beyond my wildest dreams, and had special people put in my life to help me to believe in myself, I would urge all of you to work hard and reach for the stars. Make a list of all of your personal attributes and then ask yourself "Am I appreciated?" "Am I allowed to grow?" We are only given one life to live and it behooves us to live it well.
Carol
Thursday, April 1, 2010
We begin to see the light
As time went on, reality set in and we began to realize that Lee needed to go back to school. Therefore, 1 year after our son was born, I returned to work. The only job where I could make a decent paycheck would be to return to the State Institution. This time I chose to work in Food Service rather than working directly in patient care. Lee started the process of filling out applications and loan requests for school expenses. Around this time we had met a new neighbor who had just finished college, he and his wife had 3 little boys. So he was informing us as to how to go about returning to the college where Lee had originally attended. Lee and I were in awe of this couple, WOW! they did it with 3 kids, surely we could do it with one. Our excitement was building and also I have to say a smattering of fear was lurking in the shadows. We were determined though, we knew it would entail a lot of hard work and determination, and we felt that we were up for the task.
Lee was scheduled to return to college in the fall of 1961. It was not to become a reality because Lee became very ill. He had no appetite and started losing weight, and it took the physician a while to make the diagnosis. He had infectious hepatitis, known today as hepatitis A. The institution where we worked was rampant with hepatitis. Lee was hospitalized directly from the physician's office, by the time I had arrived at the hospital he had turned a bright yellow. He was in the hospital for an entire month. This is hard to believe with the guidelines for hospitalization nowadays. I was the only person who was allowed to visit Lee because they considered him very contagious. Even the cleaning crew at the hospital would not step into the room for fear of catching the disease. After a month Lee returned home, he weighed 120 lbs. (he was 5'11") The recovery was slow and our hopes for him returning to school were dashed. For awhile after his illness we gave up on the idea of Lee returning to school. I guess we felt that it was just not to be. With both of us working we began to spend money, we bought furniture, appliances, and ultimately a new car. After all we were making good money and apparently school was only a distant memory.
While continuing to work at the State School Lee met a new guy at work who was an Rn. This fellow told Lee how he could go to a State Hospital and become an Rn for a nominal fee. At that time there were several State Hospitals all over the State of New York. Lee applied at a State Hospital for Epilepsy which was located approximately 60 miles from where we were currently living. In our world today 60 miles is nothing, many people drive that distance and even more each day to work in much of the United States. However, over forty years ago that was considered excessive.
Lee and I had an interview with the Director of Nursing, she was quite a formidable woman and clearly not a proponent of marriage. The fact that she had been married and divorced 3 times may have had something to do with her dour disposition. She made it quite clear that Lee would have to live in the dormitory. We were not happy, but discussed it and decided that we could tolerate it for 3 years. Lee was on the honor roll the entire 3 years of the program. We had hoped this would influence the Director of Nursing, and hopefully she would relent and let Lee live at home. Purely wishful thinking on our part. At the time we did not realize that we would be separated many more times over the years.
I'll sign off for now, I hope in some small way this story will influence someone to reach higher towards their goals in life.
Carol
Lee was scheduled to return to college in the fall of 1961. It was not to become a reality because Lee became very ill. He had no appetite and started losing weight, and it took the physician a while to make the diagnosis. He had infectious hepatitis, known today as hepatitis A. The institution where we worked was rampant with hepatitis. Lee was hospitalized directly from the physician's office, by the time I had arrived at the hospital he had turned a bright yellow. He was in the hospital for an entire month. This is hard to believe with the guidelines for hospitalization nowadays. I was the only person who was allowed to visit Lee because they considered him very contagious. Even the cleaning crew at the hospital would not step into the room for fear of catching the disease. After a month Lee returned home, he weighed 120 lbs. (he was 5'11") The recovery was slow and our hopes for him returning to school were dashed. For awhile after his illness we gave up on the idea of Lee returning to school. I guess we felt that it was just not to be. With both of us working we began to spend money, we bought furniture, appliances, and ultimately a new car. After all we were making good money and apparently school was only a distant memory.
While continuing to work at the State School Lee met a new guy at work who was an Rn. This fellow told Lee how he could go to a State Hospital and become an Rn for a nominal fee. At that time there were several State Hospitals all over the State of New York. Lee applied at a State Hospital for Epilepsy which was located approximately 60 miles from where we were currently living. In our world today 60 miles is nothing, many people drive that distance and even more each day to work in much of the United States. However, over forty years ago that was considered excessive.
Lee and I had an interview with the Director of Nursing, she was quite a formidable woman and clearly not a proponent of marriage. The fact that she had been married and divorced 3 times may have had something to do with her dour disposition. She made it quite clear that Lee would have to live in the dormitory. We were not happy, but discussed it and decided that we could tolerate it for 3 years. Lee was on the honor roll the entire 3 years of the program. We had hoped this would influence the Director of Nursing, and hopefully she would relent and let Lee live at home. Purely wishful thinking on our part. At the time we did not realize that we would be separated many more times over the years.
I'll sign off for now, I hope in some small way this story will influence someone to reach higher towards their goals in life.
Carol
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