when Lee was in Viet Nam he talked a lot about going camping again. We had a truck camper that we sold before he left. I was trying to like camping, but with a 2 y/o and a 4 y/o I was not real enthusiastic. It was one of those things that I thought I should get to enjoy as Lee always compromised for me, and I do feel strongly that it is a 2 way street. This is one of the gripes that some young couples complain about. "Everything we do is with his family or with his friends." Well, of course that gets monotonous and one-sided. If there are other problems in the marriage it just adds fodder to the list of complaints.
To continue the "camping conversation," I was so happy and grateful to have Lee back home that I was game for whatever he wanted to do. He wanted to buy a travel trailer, but did not think we could afford a new purchase. Therefore, I was very happy and proud to show him the bank book. I had managed to save about $3000.00. Lee was practically speechless, I didn't previously have a great track record for saving money. Almost immediately after that conversation we went down to the RV Dealers. We purchased a 17 ft. travel trailer and we were happy as clams. The kids were all excited because we planned to travel to our new assignment in it. The trailer proved to be a wonderful way to travel with children. They could each bring some of their favorite toys, etc to hopefully make the transition to a new place easier and less traumatic. Lee and I decided that it would be advantageous if we all took a trip to Ft Devens to sign up for on post housing. It would give us a little jump ahead on the list. This was before we had the trailer, but regardless of that, we decided that we would all go on this little fact finding trip. We stayed at a very nice motel, the kids loved it as it was a rarity for us to do this. In the middle of the night our 4 yr. old daughter woke me. She was crying and definitely in pain. Luckily, we were all set to return to New York anyway because we had accomplished what we were there for. Naturally, we did not waste any time getting an early start back as she needed medical attention. On arriving back home we went directly to the hospital. As we had both suspected our daughter had a very serious bladder infection. Apparently, she was born with some type of obstruction which prevented her from urinating normally. The nurse came out to tell us that they would have to catheterize our little girl. This really upset me because I knew it would be painful, and moreover, if she has an obstruction HOW would they be able to accomplish this. Lee and I were sitting outside of the office and we could hear our daughter screaming while they "tried" to catheterize her. Thankfully, the urologist had been called and he came out to talk to us. We were aware of a problem, as potty training was quite prolonged compared to our other child, but I never suspected any thing so serious. The doctor said that it was an absolute necessity that our daughter have surgery to correct this anomaly. Wow, this was not something we had planned on happening, and truthfully I was frightened. She was such a tiny little thing, and of course, parents were not allowed to accompany the child. They scheduled the surgery for the next day bright and early. The surgery was successful and all went well, thank God. It was hospital policy that mothers stayed with the child the entire time the child was hospitalized. She was in hospital 3 nights and on the fourth day she was discharged. She, as well as I, was delighted to get back home to her family. It is really true, "there is no place like home." We still had some time to relax a little before having to prepare for the moving truck to pull up in front of our house. Actually, this particular move was so smooth and trouble free, it was a joy. The reason for the incident free move is that we knew the house which we would be occupying. So our furniture did not have to be unloaded into storage as in previous moves. That extra unloading and reloading is where the damage occurs and things get lost, so we were very grateful and pleased.
It was now almost the end of July and Lee had to report to duty. It was a rather small hospital, and fairly quiet, compared to the large evacuation hospital where Lee had been assigned in Viet Nam. Lee welcomed the change of pace, the days were shorter and the work load was less than he had been accustomed to. There was another fella anesthetist who also had just returned from Viet Nam. Lou was a great guy and he and Lee hit it off immediately. Lee's boss Barbara (Lt Col) was a wonderful and caring woman. Every day she tried to get "the boys," as she referred to them home as early as possible to try and make up for lost time with their families. So, we were altogether again and Viet Nam became a distant memory. Lee still owed the Army 1 year to pay for anesthesia school, so we were not making any plans for Lee to leave the service at that time. It was wonderful to be a family again, I literally dove into so many activities. I volunteered for the "thrift shop", I volunteered to teach religious education, AND I volunteered Lee to teach it as well. (he was only a little annoyed) I belonged to a bowling league which I loved. Actually, our team was in first place, and all of the girls were great fun and very welcoming. Our oldest daughter attended nursery school as she needed to socialize a bit more,and she really enjoyed it as well. She also took ballet classes which she enjoyed and looked so darling in her tutu. Our our son was in 6th grade. He was experiencing quite a growth spurt at the time and was beginning those "trying" teenage years. He played flag football that year as well as hockey which he loved. He was a natural born athlete, but he was not a good loser which did cause a problem at times. Our youngest daughter stayed home with me, she was 2 yr old at the time. It gave us some "special" time together which we did not have when all 3 kids were home at the same time. Fort Devens was my favorite duty station, our life seemed so comfortable and enjoyable there.We all had fun and made a lot of friends, and the kids were doing well. Christmas was approaching and I had volunteered Lee and our son to sell Christmas trees for the youth club. They were ok with it, a friend of Lee's was also selling trees compliments of his wife also. They all seemed to enjoy the whole X-mas tree event. Then about half way through that year Lee came home and said that we would probably be reassigned in the summer. One year after we arrived there we would be leaving. I must admit that I was bitter and angry, I tried to put up a good front for the kids, but it was difficult. I knew that this was a good career move for Lee. He had been advised to go back to school for his BSN. So, in the summer of 1972 we were headed for Salina, Kansas, not exactly the "garden spot" of my dreams, but it was a reality.
I'll try to blog more frequently in the future. Our 5 year old granddaughter spent an entire week with us last week. It was marvelous. We baked cookies, went swimming every day, went to the "Children's Museum", read stories each night at bedtime, had a movie night, went for walks. I cannot explain the absolute joy I receive from my grandchildren, all four of them. If you are not yet a grandmother, you have a wonderful treat waiting for you. I feel so completely and entirely priveleged to be a grandmother and I truly love it!
Go out and be kind to those who are less fortunate than you. God calls us to "Love one another as we love ourselves."
Goodnight, Carol
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
...and life goes on
I arrived home from Hawaii happier and more optimistic. It was good to see the kids and share all the photos and news from daddy. Then, of course there were those gifts which they all knew I would have for them. They really did absolutely devour the fresh pineapples. To me the pineapples did not seem to be as exotic and delicious as they did in Hawaii. In my heart I know that the ambiance and mystique of being with Lee in Hawaii enhanced the effects of everything. It was still very much winter in New York, the respite in Hawaii was wonderful, but the reality was we could expect much more snow and cold weather until April.
After I was home awhile we started talking about Lee coming back home and our next assignment. I had decided that the military life wasn't so bad after all. Originally, I chose to go to New York to be around family, however I did not feel very supported by family. In reality, my old friends were much more supportive and present for me. While I was in New York my father had offered me some land to build a house when Lee finished his tour of duty in the Army. Initially I was very excited about the prospect of having our own home. Then I started thinking about living so close to my parents and the possible repercussions of that arrangement. There is always a price to be paid My relationship with my mother had always been strained, and both my parents were always critical of the decisions which Lee and I made. Consequently, we said "no thank you". Lee still owed the military 1 more year of service for his anesthesia schooling and we felt like we could not make any future plans until that commitment was fulfilled.
Our son became sick around the time of Easter vacation. He was complaining of a sore throat and a general feeling of malaise. I took him to my pediatrician who diagnosed a sore throat and upper respiratory infection. He did not do a throat culture and he did not prescribe penicillin. Remember this was 1971 and penicillin was quite popular. The choices of antibiotics were few compared to now. Our son started complaining of joint pain, and then began having difficulty walking because his ankles were swollen and painful. At this time I was not a nurse, but I started looking up his symptoms in the "Merck Manual" and I had concluded that it was Rheumatic Fever. All the signs and symptoms were there plain as day. Another visit to the pediatrician and after examining our son the doc said "well I don't think it is Rheumatic Fever, but I will order some blood work." The next day the doctor called me at home to say "yes, it is Rheumatic Fever and your son needs to be hospitalized." Our son was in the hospital for several days including Easter. It turned out that year the only holiday that we actually spent with family had been Thanksgiving. All of the other holidays the kids were ill and we stayed home by ourselves. While our son was in the hospital his medication was changed to Penicillin which he took for many years as a prophylactic to protect his heart. Lee and I continued our daily letter writing throughout the year so Lee had been getting daily reports on our son. He called me one night around 0200 (because of time change)to tell me that Todd had Rheumatic Fever. By that time our son was home and on the mend and another scary situation was history.
At the beginning of that year as I have recalled to you early in my story, I was depressed and terrified at the thought of Lee being gone for an entire year. I truly did not know if I would be able to manage by myself and handle all of the responsibilities. In retrospect, I matured a great deal that year. I had to be there, and be present for our children, and able to make decisions by myself. When Lee came home I was actually proud of myself and proud of the way I responded to adversity that year. It was good for me because if I had not succeeded and Lee would have been called back it would not bode well for his career. So the gamble was worth it, although poor Lee left us with feelings of trepidation and uncertainty.
The day finally arrived for Lee's homecoming. It was somewhat disappointing because Lee was instructed not to wear his military uniform home. The American people were so anti Viet Nam and demonstrating all over, it was just safer not to antagonize them. The children and I were so very proud of him and what he had experienced during his Viet Nam tour that we were disappointed. The main thing was that he was home safely. It was Father's Day and it was wonderful to have Lee return home on that day. You may recall that he left on Father's Day of 1970 and it was a sad and unsettling day. None of the family came over and the kids and I were all alone after we took Lee to the airport.
Lee seemed more quiet when he came home and really did not want to talk about his Viet Nam experience. He was exhausted after the long, long flight home and we were just happy that he was home safe and sound with us. On July 4th we all went to see the fireworks with Lee's brother and his family. The fireworks bothered Lee as the sound was similar to the bombs being dropped in Viet Nam. Otherwise, I never saw anything disturbing about Lee's behavior as a result of Viet Nam. One thing that I did notice and it was different behavior for Lee is that he seemed to drink more alcohol. He said in Viet Nam most of the medical personnel drank all day, and played cards. In between taking care of casualties they drank, some smoked pot as well. The surgeons drank, anesthesia personnel drank as well as ancillary staff. Drinking was sort of a way of life for that year. It was the personnels way of numbing themselves to the terrible atrocities they witnessed every day. Lee had gone directly from anesthesia school to the operating rooms of Viet Nam. He, like thousands of others was not prepared for what he saw every day. Over the years Lee has made statements like "I don't know if we did any favors by saving some of those guys." At that time military medicine was being heralded because of the higher survival rate. Lee said that many 18 and 19 year olds who had lost their arms or legs or both, or some who also lost their sight, were heart breaking to see. Many of these guys were angry that they had survived only to face a lifetime of rehabilitation and adjusting to life after Viet Nam.
Our new duty station was to be Fort Devens, Mass. which we were thrilled about. We love New England and enjoyed the more temperate weather compared to Texas and Oklahoma. Lee's boss was a woman we had known at Fort Sill, OK. He was very happy with his new assignment as was I. Actually, this Lt Col who was Lee's boss turned into a wonderful friend. We were priveleged to have her friendship until 1983 when she passed away with breast cancer. She was only 60 years old, and had been a confidant, and huge support to me during a turbulent time with our son. She was absolutely the most non judgemental individual I have ever met, and I was devastated when she passed away. Fortunately, I was able to fly from Austin, Texas (our assignment after Europe) to Presque Isle, Maine to spend a few precious days with her before she died.
Until next time, be good to one another. Carol
After I was home awhile we started talking about Lee coming back home and our next assignment. I had decided that the military life wasn't so bad after all. Originally, I chose to go to New York to be around family, however I did not feel very supported by family. In reality, my old friends were much more supportive and present for me. While I was in New York my father had offered me some land to build a house when Lee finished his tour of duty in the Army. Initially I was very excited about the prospect of having our own home. Then I started thinking about living so close to my parents and the possible repercussions of that arrangement. There is always a price to be paid My relationship with my mother had always been strained, and both my parents were always critical of the decisions which Lee and I made. Consequently, we said "no thank you". Lee still owed the military 1 more year of service for his anesthesia schooling and we felt like we could not make any future plans until that commitment was fulfilled.
Our son became sick around the time of Easter vacation. He was complaining of a sore throat and a general feeling of malaise. I took him to my pediatrician who diagnosed a sore throat and upper respiratory infection. He did not do a throat culture and he did not prescribe penicillin. Remember this was 1971 and penicillin was quite popular. The choices of antibiotics were few compared to now. Our son started complaining of joint pain, and then began having difficulty walking because his ankles were swollen and painful. At this time I was not a nurse, but I started looking up his symptoms in the "Merck Manual" and I had concluded that it was Rheumatic Fever. All the signs and symptoms were there plain as day. Another visit to the pediatrician and after examining our son the doc said "well I don't think it is Rheumatic Fever, but I will order some blood work." The next day the doctor called me at home to say "yes, it is Rheumatic Fever and your son needs to be hospitalized." Our son was in the hospital for several days including Easter. It turned out that year the only holiday that we actually spent with family had been Thanksgiving. All of the other holidays the kids were ill and we stayed home by ourselves. While our son was in the hospital his medication was changed to Penicillin which he took for many years as a prophylactic to protect his heart. Lee and I continued our daily letter writing throughout the year so Lee had been getting daily reports on our son. He called me one night around 0200 (because of time change)to tell me that Todd had Rheumatic Fever. By that time our son was home and on the mend and another scary situation was history.
At the beginning of that year as I have recalled to you early in my story, I was depressed and terrified at the thought of Lee being gone for an entire year. I truly did not know if I would be able to manage by myself and handle all of the responsibilities. In retrospect, I matured a great deal that year. I had to be there, and be present for our children, and able to make decisions by myself. When Lee came home I was actually proud of myself and proud of the way I responded to adversity that year. It was good for me because if I had not succeeded and Lee would have been called back it would not bode well for his career. So the gamble was worth it, although poor Lee left us with feelings of trepidation and uncertainty.
The day finally arrived for Lee's homecoming. It was somewhat disappointing because Lee was instructed not to wear his military uniform home. The American people were so anti Viet Nam and demonstrating all over, it was just safer not to antagonize them. The children and I were so very proud of him and what he had experienced during his Viet Nam tour that we were disappointed. The main thing was that he was home safely. It was Father's Day and it was wonderful to have Lee return home on that day. You may recall that he left on Father's Day of 1970 and it was a sad and unsettling day. None of the family came over and the kids and I were all alone after we took Lee to the airport.
Lee seemed more quiet when he came home and really did not want to talk about his Viet Nam experience. He was exhausted after the long, long flight home and we were just happy that he was home safe and sound with us. On July 4th we all went to see the fireworks with Lee's brother and his family. The fireworks bothered Lee as the sound was similar to the bombs being dropped in Viet Nam. Otherwise, I never saw anything disturbing about Lee's behavior as a result of Viet Nam. One thing that I did notice and it was different behavior for Lee is that he seemed to drink more alcohol. He said in Viet Nam most of the medical personnel drank all day, and played cards. In between taking care of casualties they drank, some smoked pot as well. The surgeons drank, anesthesia personnel drank as well as ancillary staff. Drinking was sort of a way of life for that year. It was the personnels way of numbing themselves to the terrible atrocities they witnessed every day. Lee had gone directly from anesthesia school to the operating rooms of Viet Nam. He, like thousands of others was not prepared for what he saw every day. Over the years Lee has made statements like "I don't know if we did any favors by saving some of those guys." At that time military medicine was being heralded because of the higher survival rate. Lee said that many 18 and 19 year olds who had lost their arms or legs or both, or some who also lost their sight, were heart breaking to see. Many of these guys were angry that they had survived only to face a lifetime of rehabilitation and adjusting to life after Viet Nam.
Our new duty station was to be Fort Devens, Mass. which we were thrilled about. We love New England and enjoyed the more temperate weather compared to Texas and Oklahoma. Lee's boss was a woman we had known at Fort Sill, OK. He was very happy with his new assignment as was I. Actually, this Lt Col who was Lee's boss turned into a wonderful friend. We were priveleged to have her friendship until 1983 when she passed away with breast cancer. She was only 60 years old, and had been a confidant, and huge support to me during a turbulent time with our son. She was absolutely the most non judgemental individual I have ever met, and I was devastated when she passed away. Fortunately, I was able to fly from Austin, Texas (our assignment after Europe) to Presque Isle, Maine to spend a few precious days with her before she died.
Until next time, be good to one another. Carol
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